Page 12 of Perfectly Yours
My driver pulls up to the edge of the hotel, raising an eyebrow at my attire but I throw him a middle finger, which keeps him quiet for the entire ride. Ever so often he glances at me through the rearview mirror but I just scowl at him, messaging Carleen that I’m alright.
The moment I step inside our apartment, Carleen is leaning over the kitchen counter, grinning like an idiot. “Well, hello sister. How was your night?” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully and I just grunt. “Wait, what is that? Ellie?” She rounds the counter and pulls me into her arms for a much-needed hug.
I sag against her, my head against her shoulder as I catch my breath, letting last night’s bad decisions finally sink in. I let them fuck me. I fucked them. And it felt more like lovers that had been away for a long time rather than having the best sex of my life with strangers. Well, it was a little bit of both. Is this what having a mate felt like?
“Going to see them again?” Carleen asks, rubbing my back in soft circles. I shake my head. “Why not? I’ve heard good things about those two. I suspect that a lot of the public stories aren’t all that true.”
“Leenie, I know you mean well,” I say as I untangle myself from her. Savin and Macon’s scents are everywhere and I really need to scrub them off before I start getting strange ideas of returning to that hotel room. “But I… this can’t happen. We live in two different worlds.”
Carleen lets out a heavy sigh as I push past her, heading for the bathroom that connects our bedrooms. The luxury of last night isn’t lost on me but I find myself more comfortable in this small, compact space. I know where everything is. I know what everything costs. “Ellie, you always do this. Things are only ever one night or one month or whatever bullshit you keep telling yourself because you want it to be. You’ve created this stupid little bubble where you think you’re better off just marrying a Beta because society-”
I’m too tired for this conversation but maybe because I’m both irritated and angry about how I left the night. Fuck, I didn’t even say goodbye to Savin. “Carleen, I could feel the pull of that stupid bond last night and I hated it. I wanted to believe that maybe it was more than just one night, that it all meant something. But it’s just biology pulling us together. We both know I’m better off marrying a Beta who can treat me right. Don’t Leenie. I’m not in the mood today.”
I slam the door behind me as I shed my clothes and turn the shower on. All of my words are bullshit. Every last one of them. I know that’s not how bonds work but if I lean into my true emotions, what I want, what my Beta wants, I’ll want something I can’t have.
So, I lie to myself instead.
It’s just easier.
Chapter ten
ELLIE
Three Weeks Later
Life has returned to normal, kind of. I still think about being stuffed between those two gorgeous men and my heart yearns for their touch even if I know that it’s best we parted ways that morning. Carleen still teases me about it now and then but for the most part, we don’t talk about it. I’ve returned to juggling late-night shifts at Euphoria and studying for my degree with the occasional night on the town with Tati and the other girls.
No one has mentioned that night and how I disappeared but I’m realizing that no one truly knows what happened. I’ll have to thank my sister for that. There is one change that I’ve made in the last three weeks—no more parties. I can’t trust myself not to indulge, trying to measure up to a night I can’t forget.
It’s why I’ve picked up an extra shift, twirling around the pole like I own it. Tati and I are almost always paired together, both of us moving with precision. Our little flips and slides as we spread our legs catch the crowd’s attention, scents strangling me as I try to stay focused. I wobble, nearly losing my grip, Tati looking over concerned. I wave her off, even as we bow and dip, my ass shaking for strangers that have paid to be here.
Any other day, I would be indulging in this vanity, drinking in the excitement and lust pouring off these individuals. But ever since that night with Macon and Savin, I feel like I’m showing something I’m not supposed to. I feel like I’m exposing something that is rightfully theirs. Stupid, seeing as we’re not dating, we’re not a pack, and I haven’t seen them in almost a month.
Tati throws out her hand and I take it, twirling into her chest as we play out our set just like we had in rehearsals. She unclips one of my shoulder pieces as I do the same for her, both of us sporting devilish smiles as the second half of the show becomes apparent. Two other girls join us on stage, as we turn to the crowd, peeling off our tops and throwing them over the stage.
There’s scrambling to grab the shimmery material, our torsos bare except for the thin lace covering our tits. My breath catches in my throat as I stare out into the darkness, momentarily only seeing two men who stole my heart in a matter of seconds. It’s just Macon and Savin there, Savin’s head thrown back in ecstasy as Macon holds him. The Alpha is stroking the Omega through his pants, both of them turned on by my display.
Heat bleeds through me as I continue to move, my cheeks heating and my body crying out with need. In the next second, their image is gone and I’m left with the crowd I’m being paid to dance for. The chaos of Euphoria comes back to me, a few hoots erupting from the darkness as I continue my set. When the set ends, the lights shutting off so that the next rotation can begin, I rush off.
I’m confused, horny, and disoriented. Macon and Savin weren’t actually there but they are the only thing on my mind. I stuff myself into a makeup chair, letting my head fall to the dresser in front of me. Tati follows and I know she’s about to comment when our boss, Lewis, decides to steal the seat next to me.
“That was some performance you put on out there, Ellie.”
I groan, wondering what Lewis wants. He’s an easy enough person to appease but he either wants more energy, more money, or more skin. I wait for him to explain his sentence because he will eventually. He always does.
“I mean, you’re one of our best dancers but that show out there? I had been meaning to talk to you because I thought something might be wrong. But damn, this last set? You outdid yourself! Where has all that energy been?” His gleeful expression when I look up makes my stomach uneasy. The Alpha isn’t hard on the eyes, what with his shaggy brown hair and wide smile. He reminds me more of a puppy than an Alpha at times but in these moments, there’s a completely different side of him.
One that I try to avoid. “I guess I just needed a boost.” I shrug, not wanting to let anyone know what happened out there. It seems that my energy is directly tied to the Astors and I hate it. “I’m going to get changed and head out. I’ve got an exam soon and could use the time to study.” More bullshit coming out of my mouth which Tati immediately catches onto.
I stand and grab my bag, pulling out a shirt to cover myself and chucking my heels inside. It barely covers my chest but at least I won’t be flashing my tits to the public. The short shorts I’m sporting are enough to cover my ass and I’m comfortable enough in my body not to care about anything else.
“Wait, Ellie, I thought you might like to pick up a shift. I would have asked one of the other girls but after this…”
“I’m good. Thanks, Lewis. I’ll catch you at the next shift.” I don’t wait around for him to wrangle me into staying longer or discussing a new routine, because he absolutely will. I also ignore the buzzing in my bag as I exit through the back, knowing full well that Tati is furiously texting me for answers.
Heady sunlight unforgivingly blasts my vision and I sigh, remembering how odd my work and school schedules truly are. It feels like midnight inside the club when in reality, it’s probably just after 11 am. I’ll never understand the people who enjoy watching this during the brunch hour but it pays the bills so I’m not complaining.
I make my way over to my black and green Yamaha, running a gentle hand along the curve before patting the seat. It’s one of the few joys I have in life and a present from my parents before I moved out. Carleen’s taste is very different but she’s happy with her compact sports car. I throw my bag on the ground and pull out my pants and shoes, not caring who’s watching a Beta dress in the parking lot.