Page 42 of Perfectly Yours
And now, I’ve kept my suspicions to myself, knowing full well that Ellie might truly be our dream come true. “Macon, I need you to hear me out before you make any assumptions.” My Alpha grits his teeth before he nods, swallowing his anger so I can explain. “I suspected a few days ago but I didn’t know. I swear. She never said anything to me and so I didn’t want to make it a thing if it wasn’t. But then she sent that. I don’t think it was on purpose.”
Macon grunts and dials her number from my phone. We both hear the dial tone drop off and then the call ends. She just hung up on us. I try to find another explanation when six little beeps echo through the foyer, reaching my ears. “Wrong code,” echoes after it, six beeps following it before the door is thrust open, Ellie standing there drenched and half-dressed.
Her usually full curls are sagging against her shoulders, fear racing through her expression as she holds her hands up. “I can explain.” Ellie draws in several breaths but I can’t get past the fact that she looks like a drowned rat. My heart goes out to her, my need to draw her into my arms and take care of her overshadowing everything else.
The problem is that Macon needs to say his piece before this goes anywhere, even as harsh as I know his words will be. “We’re all ears, Ellie. When were you going to tell us you were pregnant? I’m assuming it’s one of ours.” His clipped tone has me jabbing him in the side but his anger doesn’t dissipate.
Ellie bends in half, placing her hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. “I can explain,” she repeats. “Just give me a minute.” Her breaths are getting heavier as she drops to her knees, Macon beside her in the next second. He scoops her into his arms and carries her to the couch, nodding at me to grab a few towels to dry her off.
Once again, I’m surprised by my Alpha as he crouches in front of her, one of his hands reaching up to her to caress her cheek. “Tell me they’re his,” he whispers.
I nearly miss the nod she gives him, my entire body responding to the revelation that those babies are mine. That she’s carrying my children. We never thought that would be possible. I run off to the linen closet to grab towels before I end up pouncing onto our Beta with enough excitement for the three of us.
Chapter thirty
ELLIE
Like something out of a damn movie, it starts pouring as we pull up to the Astor’s house. I’m a little terrified that there will be someone with a camera poking around but there’s no time to dwell on that now. Right now, I have to fix this goddamn problem that I’ve caused.
Carleen taps my arm after the car comes to a stop. “Hey, just let them know what’s going on. With how happy you’ve been the past few days, I can’t imagine they won’t hear you out at the very least.” A warm smile slides over her face as she reaches over to give me a side hug. “I’ll keep my phone on. Text me and I’ll be right back here for you if you need me.”
She’s not lying either. She might wait an hour before driving off but at the first sign of distress, she’ll be at my side. We’ve always been close, been there for each other, and this is no different. I’m hoping I won’t need to call her.
I swallow and then nod, rushing up their driveway before Carleen can offer me an umbrella. Rain soaks into my hair and clothes as I hurriedly put in the code. “Wrong code,” the robotic voice says and I growl in frustration as I smack the rain from my eyes, trying to focus on the small silver buttons. I type in the code again, relieved when the latch is undone and I throw the door open to see two men half-dressed in the kitchen.
“I can explain,” falls from my lips several times, Macon’s anger heavy through the room. Savin looks on, hopeful and I just want to melt in between them but I need to let them in on the last secret that’s been hanging between us. Macon says something but I’m barely listening as I try to take a breath and fail, crumpling to the floor.
The Alpha scoops me up in the next second and deposits me on the couch, his gentle touch making me feel even worse for keeping this secret from them. “Tell me they’re his,” he whispers.
I stare into his deep brown eyes and slowly nod. I expect disappointment or rage but I only find happiness and relief. Macon’s gaze drops to my bloated belly clearly seen with my wet shirt plastered to my body. His hands move to sit on my hips, thumbs running along the slight curve of my lower stomach and my breath hitches in my throat beneath his touch.
“I’m sorry,” Macon says. I frown, unsure of what he’s apologizing for. After all, I didn’t tell them I was pregnant and that’s on me. About to say as much, Macon shakes his head. “No, Ellie, I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you. Your reasoning for not telling us is your own and we didn’t know each other when this happened.” He pauses, but his fingers continue to move, caressing and massaging in a way I didn’t know I needed. “Were you going to tell us?”
I bite my bottom lip, trying to find the right words. “No. I… wasn’t sure what to do but I didn’t know if you would be happy or think that I was trying to wedge myself into your lives. It was all too fucking convenient. Mates and then a baby? I can’t trust any of that.” It’s been a while since I’ve thought of myself as just a Beta but social hierarchy tells me that I’m not needed in this space—regardless of how much we all want this.
Savin returns with towels and I can see that he’s trying to weather his excitement. Worse, the way his jaw pulls tight and his brows furrow tells me that he’s also hiding pain. Macon slips the towels from his Omega’s hands before demanding that he sit with a mere look. Savin huffs in annoyance before crawling onto the couch beside me and pressing a light kiss to my cheek.
A shuddering sigh leaves my lips as I melt into the cushions, still holding Macon’s gaze. “Let me speak to something first, sweetheart. I would never believe that you were sitting here right now for my fame or my money. You’ve made it very clear that you are independent and that you don’t want handouts. You also don’t want to be thrust into the public eye as you feel safer in the dark. Besides, you are our mate. We want you here. Now, what can’t you trust, Ellie?” He doesn’t push, doesn’t try to force me to speak. He just wraps a towel around my shoulders and uses another to dry my hair.
Macon doesn’t understand but he wouldn’t as an Alpha. I’m not even entirely sure that Savin would be able to either. I mull through the many different conversations I’ve had in my head before tonight, each one seeming dumber than the last. “I can’t trust my feelings,” I finally blurt out. Macon pulls away and sits fully on the carpet in front of me, tilting his head to the side. “Mate bonds make everything more desirable and with babies in the mix, how can we try this relationship thing without feeling like we need to make it work? It’s physically more comfortable being here with you but does that mean I love you or am I just using my biology?”
I’m saying all the wrong things by the way Macon’s expression falls apart. Savin’s scent has hardened a little, both of them not understanding what I’m trying to say. I grab the towel from my hair, sliding it off to the side to see Savin searching my expression. His brows are furrowed as he scoots a little closer, his hair wild across his shoulders, eyes wide with confusion. “You don’t love us?”
Goddess, my heart is going to break. “No! I mean… fuck. I do, I think. Love is a strong word and I’m not there yet.” I quickly change my tune. “I will get there. That’s where this is going but my brain and my heart aren’t in the same place.”
Macon places a firm hand on my knee, drawing my attention to him. “Having our babies won’t change our feelings, sweetheart. Did you think they would?”
Savin takes one of my hands into his lap, “It’s not that, is it? It’s that you worry our mate bond is forcing us to have feelings, the same way you crave my touch and the way I crave yours.” There it is. The thing I didn’t really want them to hear but the truth, nonetheless.
“I just…”
Macon squeezes my thigh but this time I don’t meet his gaze. I don’t want to see the pain in his eyes or the disappointment in his expression. “Ellie, sweetheart, this right here is a safe space between the three of us. Tell us what you need. I know it’s hard but this won’t work without communication.” His eagerness to push forward seeps through his words while he’s still trying not to overwhelm me.
Do they really want to hear my insecurities or do they want to placate my feelings before they decide it’s not worth it? Do I tell them about my fear that my life will be derailed because I will be put out in public for them to feed on my private life? Savin threads his fingers through mine, bringing them to his lips and holding them there.
It takes me a moment to gather my courage but when I do, I can’t stop the words from coming. "I need you to prove to me that this, all of this, is more than just biology. That if you two were just men and I was just a woman, you would still love me. No, please, don’t say those three words. I’m not ready. I can’t trust them. Alpha, I want this. But I need to know that without nature pushing us together you would still be right here, asking me to be with you. With both of you. You said I'm more than a Beta, more than just your mate. Prove it."
My throat constricts as my eyes glaze over with tears, waiting for their dismissal or harsh words. They’ve never once spoken to me like that before and yet I can’t help thinking that that’s what is in my future. After all, I’m just a Beta, right? Without me sitting right here, Macon and Savin would have been fine.