Page 54 of The Love Penalty
The hill’s a gesture, right?
I try to let that thought settle over me as I nod, then resist the urge to rest my hand on her leg as if she’s my girlfriend.
I don’t know what she is.
What we are.
I’ve just told her how I feel, and she said nothing back. We’ve made out a couple times with an intense heat that neither of us could hide. And we’ve had sex… or at least started to.
We obviously like each other (at least I think she likes me. She’s sitting in my truck right now, isn’t she?). But I don’t know if she’s up for anything more than friendship.
After everything she’s been through, I have to let her take the lead on this one. Even though she’s told me not to treat her differently, it can’t work like that. I’ll do my best not to treat her as a victim, but I know shit now, and nothing can change that.
I’m gonna have to get over myself if she doesn’t want the same things I do.
I can’t expect her to get all mushy and tell me I’m the guy for her just because I was fool enough to give myself open-heart surgery at two in the fucking morning.
But she’s asked to go to the hill, so I’m gonna drive us there and see what unfolds in the back of my truck. Whether it’s an hour or two of inane facts so she can get some rest or some whispered words of affection, I’ll take whatever she gives me, because just being with her is better than lying in bed on my own.
CHAPTER 23
LEILANI
Asher must have brought girls here before, because the bed of his truck is stuffed with pillows and blankets. When he lifted the cover and I saw them all piled there, I had to ask, “Do you do this often?”
His moonlit blush tells me enough, and I throw him a little side-eye before jumping into the back. He goes to help me but isn't fast enough, and I manage to scramble up to my knees and waddle to the back of the truck.
Throwing pillows and blankets down, we get set up. Asher lies back, casually resting against the cab, and I can't resist finding a home against his chest. He's comfortable and warm.
Tucking the blanket around my shoulders, he shifts so my head's at a better angle, and I can't help a soft smile.
All that stuff he said to me in the truck was unbelievably sweet and vulnerable. I wanted to tell him that he's my first thought every morning, too, but my throat had swelled so thick with emotion that I couldn't get one word out.
He went quiet after that, and I worried that I'd ruined everything, but he's letting me snuggle against him, so it can't be all that bad.
“So… inane facts…” He points up at the sky while I stifle a giggle. “Did you know that Orion is that constellation up there?”
I spot it immediately because I already know what it looks like. My dad is an avid stargazer, and I’ve lost count of the number of times we had to trundle out after dark to look through his telescope.
“It was named after a supernaturally gifted hunter. He was a bit of an arrogant douche, claiming that he was the greatest hunter in the world.” Asher shakes his head. “See, it's okay to be confident, but don't go saying shit like you're the best, you know? Not only does it make you incredibly unlikable, but then fate proves you wrong. The guy got killed by a scorpion.”
“Which is also honored,” I continue for him, “with the constellation Scorpius. Which will be easier to find over the summer.”
Asher turns to look at me. “How do you know that?”
I grin. “My dad. I've done a lot of stargazing in my time.”
“Right.” His voice goes dry as he shakes his head. “So me trying to impress you with my awesome constellation knowledge has gone down like a lead balloon.”
I laugh at his expression. “No, it hasn't it. I love that you know all this stuff.”
“Knowledgeable and boring,” he mutters.
It's hard not to snort at his tone. “Don't be like that. It's nice to hang with someone who's as dorky as me.”
“Who are you calling a dork?”
Oh crap, I've just gone and offended him again. I seriously should just stop talking.