Page 74 of The Love Penalty

“I love her,” I whisper, laughing into the shower spray and shaking my head.

I’m not sure when I’m going to tell her, but a sudden urgency to be next to her again fires through me. I slap off the shower and jump out, grabbing my towel and quickly drying myself. I can’t wait to slip into bed with her, wrap my arms around that lush body, and hopefully fall asleep together. I want to wake up with her beside me for once.

I know she said she’ll stay for a while, but after what we just did, surely she’ll be happy to stay the night. I don’t want to drive her back to Huxley Hall or have to say goodbye. I want her here. With me.

Wrapping the towel around my waist, I head back into my room, expecting to find her standing there in my T-shirt or slipping between my sheets, but instead she’s hovering by the door, lifting her bag onto her shoulder and waiting for me.

“What are you doing?” I grip the towel at my waist.

She points behind her like it’s obvious. “It’s probably time for me to head back to my own bed. I can call an Uber if you don’t want to drive me.”

Seriously?

All those happy, giddy, light feels from the shower disintegrate in a heartbeat as I rest my hands on my hips and frown at her.

I thought tonight was going to be this perfect, magical thing… but obviously not.

CHAPTER 32

LEILANI

Okay, so I’ve said the wrong thing. Again. I seem to be the queen of doing that around Asher, but was he honestly expecting me to stay?

I’ve never slept over before.

I know he invited me and everything, but I don’t see why tonight should be any different.

You don’t? my brain taunts. Wow, you really are a moron.

I close my eyes so I don’t have to look at him. Or think about the fact that I am being the world’s biggest coward right now.

What we did in the bathroom was not only mind-blowing but soul-awakening. I should be snuggled up in his bed right now, curled against his side and falling into a contented sleep. But instead I’m attempting a midnight flee so I don’t have to face how strong my feelings are.

“Do you really have to go?” He sighs, obviously battling to stay cool and unaffected.

Oh, he’s affected. He’s downright pissed that I’m bailing after what we just experienced together.

“Yes.” I nod, while my insides shake an emphatic No!

“You don’t have to go,” he mutters. “You just don’t want to stay… for some reason.” His arm flicks out. “Why are you doing this? I want you to stay. Stay with me. Please.”

Aw, man, he’s practically begging. I can hear that slight note of desperation in his voice, and it’s so freaking endearing.

But I can’t face this avalanche in my chest right now.

It’s all too much. Too overpowering.

I want to run and hide from whatever the hell is going on inside my soul.

“I think it’s better if I go.” I rest my fingers on the door handle—a physical sign that I’m serious.

“I don’t want you to,” he grumbles.

“Fine, I’ll order an Uber, then.”

“No,” he snaps. “Of course I’m going to fucking drive you. I just don’t want to!” He huffs. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. We’ve been having the best day together, and we just had a fucking epic session in there.” He points to the bathroom. “And now you’re bailing.” His expression buckles. “Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? Did I…?” His eyes round. “Were you lying before? Was doing that in the bathroom too much for you?”

“I…” I shake my head, closing my eyes against the plethora of questions. I wish I could answer every one of them and take that look off his face. I’m hurting him. I don’t want to do that, but… how do I admit what I’m feeling?