Page 41 of Sheltered
“Ever since I’ve met you, ever since you walked into The Steel Pub that night, I thought you were breathtaking,” I started. “You’re gorgeous, Harlow. That alone would have been enough for me to have a fantasy or two about being with you. I’d be lying to you if I said I didn’t have those thoughts about you. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to just have you as a figment of my imagination. I got the opportunity to get to know you. I can’t remember a time when I had this much fun.”
“Blaze,” she rasped, tears filling her eyes.
I was on a roll, so I continued, “You are incredible, baby. There’s so much about you to like; I’d be here all night long telling you about it. The bottom line is, you were stunning the day I met you. Spending time together and getting to know you while we have fun with one another has not made you any less desirable, if I didn’t already make that clear last night. You being a virgin does not make me any less attracted to you. In fact, it has the opposite effect. Knowing that nobody has ever touched you makes me wild. There is only one thing about all of this that disappoints me.”
Her lips parted slightly. “What is it?”
My eyes roamed over her face. “I can’t give you the same.”
“What?”
“I’ve joked around before that it’s not difficult to find things I’ve done in my life that you haven’t done,” I reminded her. “Whether it’s ziplining, drive-in movies, or something in my career, I think it’s safe to say I’ve experienced a whole lot more in my life than you have in yours. And I liked to think, to some degree, it was a good thing, because I could show you all the things you’ve missed out on. But when it comes to this, I’m not sure I have the same feelings any longer. You’re the kind of woman I could see myself settling down with, and I just think it would have been nice to know I had something just as special to give you as you have to give me.”
The disbelief I’d felt mere minutes ago when Harlow was saying everything she feared would happen once she told me the truth seemed to have shifted to her. There were still tears shining in her eyes, the result of being moved by what I’d said to her. But more than anything else, Harlow looked sad.
In a move I hadn’t expected, she lifted both of her hands up to frame my face, her thumbs stroking lightly back and forth. “Are you kidding me?”
It was hard to be sure precisely what she was referring to specifically, but since I hadn’t been joking about a single thing I’d said to her, I replied, “I’m not kidding.”
Harlow tipped her head to one side. “Blaze, everything you’ve given me has been magical. Everything from the way you rescued me from that horrible date and helped me salvage that night to kissing me in the rain and bringing me a sweatshirt to wear while I cuddled with you in the bed of your truck meant the world to me. And your time? God, Blaze, the time you’re willing to give me means everything. That you think this one little thing would take away from all that you’ve already given me blows my mind. It’s just not possible.”
Not that there’d been any doubt lingering in my mind about her, but if there had been, she’d have just obliterated it. How did I get so lucky to find her? “Thank you for sharing that. It’s nice to know how you feel.”
Harlow’s hands fell away from my face and sought out my hands. “I really hope you believe what I’m telling you. I don’t care about what came before me, boss. What I care about is the way you make me feel. And in every moment we’ve shared together, all of which I will remember for the rest of my life, I’ve never felt anything less than special, important and, most of all, respected.”
Relief swept through me, which was strange. Because it wasn’t until tonight, until I saw just how worried Harlow was about everything, that I even realized I had something to be concerned about when it came to my relationship with her. It was just as I’d said to her. I’d seen and done just about everything, thinking I was having the time of my life. While I wouldn’t say I didn’t have fun, because I did, there was no question there were things I could look back on and wish I’d had the chance to experience them for the first time with her. Maybe even only her.
“That won’t change, baby,” I promised.
“What?”
I lifted one of her hands to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “The respect. No matter what happens here, you’ll always have that from me. When it comes to sex, it’s all on your time frame. I won’t lie and tell you I don’t want that with you, because I do. Fuck, I want it more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. But I’m content right now. I’m having the time of my life with you, doing all these other things you’ve never done before.”
Something warm and sweet stole over Harlow’s expression. “You know, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all the time I’ve spent with you, it’s that I can trust you to take the lead, and I’ll never be disappointed. Something tells me that when the time comes when I’m ready to take that step with you, I’ll be able to trust you to take the lead. In fact, I look forward to it.”
It was official. I didn’t deserve this woman, but there wasn’t a chance I was going to let her go.
I smiled at her. “That you even believe I’m a man worthy of having that means more than I could ever tell you. Whenever that time comes, Harlow, I promise I won’t let you regret it.”
For the next few seconds, the two of us sat there, staring at one another. I didn’t know for sure what was going through her mind, but I wondered if it was anything like I had in mine.
Tonight felt like another big step in our relationship. I’d dated women over the years, but there wasn’t anyone I’d ever felt this kind of connection with before in my life. The more I was with Harlow, the more I knew she was someone I never wanted to be without. So, I knew I was going to do whatever it took to continue to nurture the relationship we were building. I wanted to be a man worthy of her.
“Blaze?” she called, pulling me out of my lust-filled fog.
“Yeah?”
She hesitated a moment before she said, “I want us to have more time together before we take that step, but I was really enjoying what we were doing before. Do you think we could do more of that? I liked the way it felt to have your hands on my body.”
My lips twitched. “Do you think it would ever be possible for me to turn you down?”
Harlow shrugged. “I don’t know, but if you didn’t want to do it, you should tell me.”
Grinning, I insisted, “There’s never going to come a time when I’m going to turn down being able to kiss you, hold you, and touch you.”
“It’s possible.”
I shook my head. “It’s not. I promise. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”