Page 43 of Forever Always

Apparently. We dried off and then walked into the bedroom, relieved to see that Jay wasn’t in there. He must’ve gone into the living room. I was reelin’ a little. I was still coming to terms with being with Becks in any shape or form, and now Jay knew too. I mean, I guessed I shouda realized he’d find out sooner or later, but him walking in on us, even something innocent, was unexpected.

Beckett kissed me lightly. I leaned into it, but it was over way too soon.

“Let’s get dressed and see if we can find something to eat. We both gotta suck it up and hit the real world soon.”

Dread sat in my gut like a rock. With everything, I kinda allowed myself to forget that we had to face the real world today. I had my first shift at the restaurant, and Becks was going back to both his jobs. I wanted him to wait on the bar at least, but I was shut down. I thought it was too much to do all at once. But we needed the fuckin’ money, and once Becks saw just how low we were, he’d refused to back down. Jay still had another day off before he had to go back and he promised he’d stay at the bar the whole time with him, but I felt terrible putting that on him. He was dealing with his own shit. But there was little else we could do at this point if we wanted to make rent and be able to eat.

Becks seemed to realize where my mind went. “I’ll be fine, butterfly. I promise.”

He’d pretend to be, I was sure. Who knew what would be going on in his head, though? I didn’t want him to have to go through that, especially without me there. Maybe I could talk to Nathan, my new boss, about only doing day shifts, at least until I was sure Becks could handle the bar. The tip money wouldn’t be as good, but it would be worth it to make sure Beckett was okay.

“I love you, Becks,” I said instead. It was something we said to each other all the time, but I hoped that, for once, he caught the hidden meaning behind it. That I meant so much more than brotherly love.

“I love you too, butterfly.”

It was all I needed to hear.

CHAPTER 17

BECKETT

I gripped the edge of the bar to keep my hands from shaking. I could do this. I’d been working at this same damn bar for nearly 10 years now. I wasn’t gonna let the bastard take this away from me.

“You can take a couple more days if you need it, kid.” I eyed Walter from where he was washing some glasses. The fact that he was here tonight said a lot. He rarely came in anymore, especially when I was working. He knew I could run this shit on my own and trusted that.

He clearly couldn’t now. “I’m fine, Walter. You don’t have to be here. I know you don’t like bein’ here no more.”

He shrugged. “I don’t mind stopping in every once in a while. Plus, it’s you, kid. I worry about you.”

I shrugged, refusing to look at him. Jay was here too, of course. Because I clearly needed all the fuckin’ babysitters. Riley had also texted me no less than 5 times just to check in. I got they were worried, but I needed everyone to back the fuck off a bit. Though, as much as I hated to admit it, maybe Ri was right. I got through the factory okay, but the bar was a different matter. As ridiculous as it seemed, I kept checking the door, expecting Mr. Chase to walk in. I didn’t know why I thought he’d come here, but I never thought I’d see him at a homeless shelter either, so yeah. Logic didn’t apply.

“There’s nothin’ to worry about. I’m sorry I had to take all that time off. It won’t happen again.” I wished I could really mean that.

Walter huffed. “You know I don’t give a fuck about that. I just wish you would tell me what was wrong so I can fix it.”

My shoulders stiffened, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep the memories from barging in.

“There’s nothing to fix,” I said way colder than Walter deserved.

“If you say so,” he replied easily. “I’m gonna go in the back and get some paperwork done. You know where to find me if you need me.”

Somehow, I was able to relax a little once Walter wasn’t breathing down my neck. I knew he meant nothing by it. He’d always been good to me, especially when I was a kid and fuckin’ desperate. But him being there made me feel like a failure. Bad enough I had to go meet with an HR rep who swore they weren’t a therapist at the factory to make sure I was sane enough to work the machines. I didn’t need Walter watching me too. I could run this bar with my eyes fuckin’ closed. And if I kept checking the front door a little more than usual, so what? It wasn’t hurting nobody.

When there were customers, I was fine. The minute I had a lull, I started to watch the door again. It was like I couldn’t take my fuckin’ eyes off it.

“Hey, are you good?” I blinked up at Jay, who had slid onto one of the barstools. He had been in a booth in the back, working on some shit that needed to be taken care of with his mom.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You don’t have to stay here, you know.”

Jay glared at me, making it crystal fuckin’ clear he had no plans of going anywhere. I put my hands up in surrender.

“Fine. Stay and be bored outta your fuckin’ mind. Are you reportin’ back to Riley too?”

Jay grinned, unaffected by my shitty attitude. “Yup. He’s pissed you ignored his last text.”

“I can only tell him I’m fine and not to get himself fired on his first day so many times.”

Jay shifted, suddenly looked nervous. “Also, I won’t be bored. I, um, invited someone to meet me here.”