Page 26 of The Lucky One
Kiki stepped out, crossing her arms over a pink pajama top.
“Can I come up?” I asked, still debating if this was a good idea.
She hesitated for a moment, glancing around.
“I know it’s strange that I’m showing up here like this but... I don’t want to be alone right now. I mean, as friends of course!” I rubbed my neck. Fuck, this was so weird.
She sighed. “Climb up the tree.”
And I did, taking it limb by limb. I had seen Jon climb this very tree on a few occasions, but never envisioned myself doing the same. As they say, never say never. I hadn’t anticipated racing a random weirdo tonight either—or Jon giving me the silent treatment.
Kiki returned to her balcony door wrapped into a robe. Her glasses were perched over her amber eyes, and her usual cherry-red lipstick was absent. Without it her face looked naked, vulnerable even. She stepped aside to let me in. Her room was neat and clean and filled with an abundance of flowers and plants. A white plush dog rested on one pillow over a pink bedspread. I wandered over to her desk, which was covered with books and notepads and a purple planner crammed with assignment hand-in dates. I hadn’t interrupted Kiki’s sleep, but her study session.
“I had no idea you take your studies this seriously,” I remarked, turning to her.
“Nobody knows.” Kiki shrugged.
“Why not?”
She sighed and sat on her bed. “Because if I told everyone what kind of nerd I am, the cheerleaders would wonder why I’m on the team. If I told the Fam, they’d think they were a bad influence on me when they drink and smoke weed. I don’t want to be a social pariah just because I’m digging my academics.”
“You know this is hella cool, right?” She shouldn’t feel the need to hide that she was a whip-smart girl who went after her dreams.
“I know,” she said with a smile. “But it’s my thing. I don’t want to prove anything to anyone. Jon knew, but he...” She swallowed hard. “He didn’t exactly help me study.”
“Well, I would gladly be your study partner,” I said without a moment of hesitation.
“Thank you, Paul.” She gave a tired smile. “But why are you here? You said you didn’t want to be alone?”
I moved away from the desk and sat next to her on the bed. A fresh breeze wafted in from the balcony door, which was still ajar. “I, um...” There was no way to beat around the bush now. “Remember when you asked me if I forgive Jon?”
Kiki’s eyebrows perked up. “Yeah?”
“When I got home tonight I saw him and... Emily, and—” My voice left me. My heart was thudding so hard, it was beating down my breath. “I don’t think I can forgive him, Kiki. He was my best friend and he... he went after the girl I fucking loved, and...” Tears welled up in my eyes. I swiped at them, feeling like an idiot. “I didn’t only lose her; I lost him too. The two people I care the most about. And—I don’t know how to deal with that.” My hands clenched into fists as anger built within me. But I couldn’t unleash it now, not here, not with her.
“Oh, Paul...” She threw her arms around my neck, transforming my anger into something more tender. It felt good. I leaned into her embrace, resting my head on her shoulder. The world fell into a profound silence.
“I fucking love her, Kiki,” I said. “I knew it from the moment I met her. That’s why I wanted her to move in with me.” Kiki traced soothing circles with her thumb on my back, unleashing a stream of tears. “I wanted to go live with her in Germany. Forever.”
My deepest, most intimate desire. It felt liberating to share it. What Emily and I had wasn’t an ordinary teenage fling; it was something much deeper. And even though she had chosen him, I wasn’t ready to give up the fight for her just yet.
Dreaming Again
Emily
Seven years ago...
I got picked up from my ice-skating class today by our old neighbor Heidi. She was late because she went to the judo center first, expecting me there. I reminded her that judo was on Tuesdays, ice-skating on Wednesdays, piano lessons on Thursdays, and horseback riding on Fridays. Mama signed me up for activities as soon as I said I wanted to try them. I didn’t have a favorite so far. Always being away from home made me tired.
“Why isn’t Mama picking me up?” I asked Heidi, and she gave me a sad face. “She’ll explain everything,” she promised, and I leaned back in my seat, satisfied. But then I noticed we weren’t going the usual route. “You were supposed to take a right there!” I pointed at the intersection we had just passed.
“Honey, your mother told me to bring you somewhere else today.”
I swallowed and nodded, but I didn’t dare lean back and relax again.
Eventually we arrived in a neighborhood I hadn’t been to before. Mama awaited me in front of a house I’d never seen. “Thank you so much for picking her up, Heidi,” she said when I got out of the car. “Sorry about the mix-up.” She leaned down to hug me. Heidi left with a smile, but it was different than the one she usually gave me when she saw me on the street.
“What’s going on, Mama? Why didn’t she bring me home?” I asked, and my mother’s face broke.