Page 80 of The Lucky One
“Shit,” I said. “I’m so—”
“Don’t.” He glared at me and I fell silent. “I don’t want you to apologize for something that’s not your fault. That’s why I was fine with us coming here. I want you to have fun, I want you to feel free and live. I just can’t do that as much yet.”
“But when we went swimming on our date...” I trailed off.
“It was only us. And I knew I had to pick up Lauren from her party. I couldn’t get messed up. Too much depended on me.”
I sighed. Jon needed constant reasons to not relapse, constant obstacles between him and using. I had to remember that. As everyone was fond of warning me, a life with Jon meant a life of battling his demons. But I was ready to face them if it meant having him by my side.
His hand wound its way to my upper thigh and tapped the inside, dangerously close to the spot that never failed to drive me wild. Despite the seriousness of our conversation, I suddenly yearned to feel closer to him again. I scooched down so that his fingers would travel a bit higher.
“I haven’t forgotten about your question,” he mumbled, looking up into the sky.
“Which question?” My gaze intent on his hand.
“If, um...” The tapping turned into a soft squeeze. Gosh, what I wouldn’t give to be on birth control already.
“Little German?”
I pulled my eyes away from his broad hand. “Sorry, what did you say?”
The smirk I hate-loved spread across his face, and his eyes flickered with fire. “I’m trying to be real with you and you’re going all horny on me?”
I pouted. “You started it!”
He tapped further up until he had reached my panties. “People come here to fuck all the time,” he said, and my heart basically leaped out of my chest. He drew the fabric aside.
“Do you have a condom?” I breathed. “I’m still not on birth control.”
“Nope, but we don’t need one for what I want to do to you with my mouth.”
My eyes widened, and Jon guided me to lie down on the old porch. His fingers remaining in position, stroking me, and my head fell back. I moaned, impatient for him to make his move. He slipped down my panties for better access—and then his tongue hit the spot that craved him.
“Oh, Jon...” I gasped, fingers in his hair, pulling him down on me.
My mind went into an absolute whirlwind. Some vague part of me acknowledged that we were only a hundred meters away from all the people.
I whimpered when he pulled away and looked up at me. “I want to come with you to Germany this summer, Little German.”
“What—” I gasped, but then a rush of pleasure filled me with so much happiness that I couldn’t form words, and I moaned with utter joy.
This wasn’t enough, I wanted more. To feel him, to connect with him on the deepest level. To show him how happy he made me with that one little line. I grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him up, and reached for his pants. Before he could stop me, they were off, and his hardness welcomed me. I clasped my mouth around him and moved up and down, tasting him.
I was the one looking up at him this time. “I want to feel you inside me.”
Jon’s eyes darkened. I could tell he was losing his mind too. He lowered himself on top of me and dived in. And this time there was no pain, only the immense pleasure of our union. “I love you,” he repeated in between each thrust.
“I love you too...” And I came undone.
I could introduce him to my family, my other life, every single part of me...
And maybe then he’d be ready to take the next step. And I could stay here forever.
Understanding It
Kiki
I admit I hoped to catch a glimpse of Paul at the library today. I settled into our usual spot, something catching in my throat. I knew it was me who told him to stay away, but he was doing his job a little too well. It’s probably for the best, I told myself, burying my nose in my biology book. But every time someone walked in, my head shot up, searching for any sign of him.