Page 21 of Under His Wings

Zachariel licked the tears off my face.

When I came a bit back to myself – my head was still in the clouds but some basic reasoning returned to me – I realized the blindfold was gone, my lover's deft fingers taking it away while I was still rebooting. I blinked up at Zachariel and looked at his pants. He did not come, even though he looked painfully hard. The angel focused all of the attention on me and he looked satisfied with the outcome, like his pleasure was only a secondary, trivial matter. But I wanted hm to find his fulfillment as well.

Knowing I was a tempting sight I capitalized on that. My hands ran through the spend on my stomach, spreading the white streaks all over my chest.

“So good. I want to give it to you too. Will you come on me Zachariel? Mark me with your cum?”

The angel groaned. I knew he wouldn’t be able to refuse such a heartfelt invitation. I arched my spine as Zachariel took a position over me, his legs spread over my body, his hand flying over his big, red cock.

“B-beautiful,” the angel panted out as streaks of white painted my stomach, my nipples, even my face. “Mine. Mine.”

“Yours,” I said.

I wondered if I would be allowed to say ‘mine’ back one day.

Chapter 13

That night, after we cleaned ourselves and went to bed, I had enough presence of mind to grab Zach’s hand, offering support and making sure he wouldn’t run away as I said:

“You don’t have to stay up all night, you know. I’m already aware of the nightmares so even if you wake me up... It’s not a big deal, I don’t mind. I would rather be woken up than to know you are neglecting yourself.”

“I... don’t need to sleep,” the stubborn angel replied.

“Maybe when you are in Heaven. But you know as well as I do that on Earth it’s a good way to keep your power from evaporating. Sure, you could just visit the higher plane more... but I always find you here. Are you going there at all?”

Zachariel couldn’t hide a wince. That was as good as no.

“I stayed there for more than two years after Ascending...” he told me reluctantly. “It was hard to get used to a completely new place and new people around me without any memories. For the longest time all I could think about was why I had become an angel. It’s just... such a fundamental question. Was I helping people in need? Maybe I invented a new medicine? Could I be a leader who had an impact on his community and inspired them to do better? Or was I just an everyday good man? Nothing special but consistent enough in my good deeds to gain recognition? I feel I need answers to those questions...”

“You... don’t think you deserve to be an angel,” I realized after searching his expression.

“I know only the judgment of other people. As long as I can’t make my own judgment even God’s opinion is not something I can blindly trust.”

I bit my lip, knowing this conversation was going to be a difficult territory.

“Maybe... being an angel or a demon is not about deserving,” I said.

“How is the choice made then?” Zach asked, frustration evident in his voice.

“I think it’s more about who fits a certain mold... And once you stop fitting the perfect image of how an angel is supposed to be and break the mold...”

“Is that what happened to you?” Zachariel asked softly, the words exchanged between us in the dark an intimate connection.

“I didn’t want to fall. But I was too curious for my own good. I started asking questions. Questions nobody wanted to hear and least of all answer.”

“What questions?”

“No,” my voice was strong in its vehemence. “No. Zachariel, don’t even joke about this. You have an Archangel on your tail. Do you even realize how easy it would be for him to damn you for all eternity if you ask even one question he doesn’t like? Promise me you will be careful. Don’t chase after the answers like I did. Please, be careful.”

“I will try to be, darling. But I feel adrift in limbo and I don’t know for how long I can take it without doing something.”

“Then... let me do something. I have already gathered a bit of information in Hell. Did you know that each Ascendence is witnessed by an angel and a demon?” Zach shook his head. “I don’t have much of a chance of reaching that specific angel but I hope I can track the demon somehow. It could be a key to knowing your past. Even if you don’t recover your memories, a second-hand account of the person you had been is going to be better than what you have now, right?”

“Hellion... you would really do this for me?”

“I am a demon, don’t think I’m doing it for you,” I huffed, embarrassed. “I’m doing it for myself. I want to know everything about you. I will rip you apart with my claws until you can’t hide anything from me. Your past, your future... I want it all.”

Why was the angel staring at me as if I had just confessed my love?