Page 67 of The Backup Plan
“I’ve been bugging him for years to see a counselor, and he won’t. He’s not working through anything. He’s dwelling on it. We used to talk about everything, even the hard stuff, and I thought it would still be like that when I came here.” Avery swallowed back a lump in her throat. “That’s the whole reason I’m here. We were supposed to stick together.”
“You’re here for your art, too. Don’t belittle that. You told me the first day we met how important Justin is to you, but you have something beautiful for yourself in the things you create. Be here for yourself, too.”
“I’m here for him,” Avery insisted. “I could have gone to the Chicago Art Institute if art mattered more. I think I could have.”
“With your portfolio and your drive, I’m sure you could have. Where else did you apply besides UND?”
“Nowhere. I did early decision.”
Her naïve logic suddenly roiled her stomach. Had she sold herself short, only to be displaced by her beloved brother’s tantrums? How long had it been since she had any dreams that didn’t center around following him?
Three years. Three years exactly.
She peeked down the hall where Cameron disappeared and wondered if that counted. Even if everything went right, a dream like that might lead to her following another man around for football, and creating art when she had time. The thought prickled her skin like a rash, and she twitched her fingers in her lap to keep from clawing her arms.
“You guys are supposed to have brunch tomorrow, right?” Mindy asked, brightening. “I don’t want to cloud the air with my amateur psychiatric assessments. This is your conversation with him. Not mine.”
“Agreed.” Avery patted her cheeks to calm herself. “Whew. Okay. Where is he, anyway?”
Mindy glanced at her nearly empty cup. “He said a few minutes ago he was going out back to get us drinks. He must have found someone to talk to.”
“Cam said he was drinking a lot earlier.”
“He took the loss pretty hard today.” Mindy smiled, and Avery wondered if she knew which loss was really on Justin’s mind. “I’ve seen you and Cam in the lounge by my office a lot. Is that a thing for you two?”
“Maybe. I’m optimistic.” She was glad the low light hid her blush. “But I know Justin was a little bummed the thing with Isaac didn’t pan out. Thank God for you distracting him, I guess.”
“Oh, he moped to me a little,” Mindy said. “But he’s always pinned all these hopes and dreams on you, Avery, and it’s good that you’re as headstrong and tough as you are. I truly admire the way you’re using art as a tool to face your fears. Have you found another piece to work with? I remembered the other day that the sketch you liked was?—”
Avery raised her hand to cut her off and craned her head to the hall. She leapt from the loveseat and grabbed Mindy’s hand, yanking her down the hallway, shoving past a dozen people as she followed her brother’s voice to the backyard. Cam and Benny held Justin’s elbows, keeping him from barreling into Isaac, who stood alone by the bonfire like a sacrifice.
“You know what would really make me feel better, Isaac? I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you’d explain why everyone matters more than your family!” He bellowed in his friend’s face and Avery gasped, covering her mouth.
“Mindy,” she hissed. “He never calls him that.”
“You didn’t think of us when you decided to play hero,” Justin ranted. “Just had to be the good guy. Just had to make everyone proud. Was it worth it? I don’t fucking think so!”
“He only calls him Fields,” Avery murmured to herself. “Oh, Justin. No.”
“You let us down!” he roared. “You destroyed our family for some stranger. Mom and Dad and me and Avie. You ruined everything, you stupid hero! Now you’re a goddamn martyr, all over the news because you failed. You were supposed to be the strong one. What kind of brother are you?”
Lit by the orange flames and surrounded by a dozen gawking teammates and friends, Isaac stared Justin down with squared shoulders, clenched fists, and pain in his hazel eyes. He said nothing at the torrent of abuse. Justin, seemingly blind as to which Isaac he was screaming at, snapped out of his haze just in time to see his friend’s glance flicker to his sister.
“Avie,” he choked, his shoulders collapsing forward. “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be stronger now.”
She stepped toward him and didn’t take her eyes from her brother’s bloodshot gaze. “I’m here, Justin,” she whispered. “Hey. I’m right here. We’re strong together. I haven’t left you. I never will.”
“Isaac left,” he said, his voice flat.
She nodded at Benny to let him go, but couldn’t meet Cameron’s eyes and wouldn’t turn around to look at Isaac Fields for fear of dragging Justin’s attention to him again.
“Yes, Justin. He left. I’m here with you, though.”
“He left us.”
She rubbed his shoulder and pushed a lock of sweat-drenched blond hair off his forehead. “He didn’t mean to. He loved us so much.”
“Not enough.” Justin stood straighter. “Why are you defending him?”