Page 68 of The Backup Plan

Benny stayed close to Justin’s left arm and Cam to his right. “Because he was my brother, too,” she said, raising her voice. “And I will not stand here and let you cuss him down for dying trying to save another human being.”

“The guy was already dead!”

“He didn’t know that!”

Justin stepped forward. Cam and Benny grabbed his elbows as Isaac moved to Avery’s side. She brushed away his outstretched hand.

“He let us down,” Justin growled. “We need him more than that stranger ever did.”

“That stranger had a family too, you know. We’re not the only people grieving. When are you and Dad and Mom going to see that? That family has to live with the fact that our brother died trying to save their drunk idiot son who crashed a jet ski into his boat.”

“Why do you care what the dead guy’s family thinks? It was his fault he died! Isaac couldn’t have saved him, and he died trying anyway. It was pointless. That’s right, Isaac.” He turned to his friend and spat the name like an insult. “You died trying to save a dead man. You left us. You abandoned us for a dead man.”

Avery yanked his chin so he’d face her. “Oh, like you’re abandoning me now? Isaac’s dead, and you’re abandoning me to cry about him.” She pointed. “That’s not him, Justin! He doesn’t even look like him. You’re mad about his name. Want to talk about pointless? There you go.”

“I have to see someone who looks like him every day in my goddamn mirror.”

“And so do I! You can’t treat your friends like that, even if you are drunk as hell and sad about everything. Here we are. Wake up and deal with it.”

The backyard fell silent but for the pop and crackle of the fire, and the faraway singing of the last of the summer crickets. Fighting a scream, Avery bit down hard on the inside of her cheek and didn’t take her eyes from her brother’s.

Justin tried to yank free of his friends’ grasp. “You act like it doesn’t even hurt anymore. Like it doesn’t affect you at all. You’re faking your way out of your issues.”

“I am coping. I am getting professional help and moving forward with my life.”

“But you can’t even have a normal relationship when I practically lay one at your feet. He won’t let you down, Avie. He can’t.”

“Isaac and I are human beings. He is not your pawn, and you don’t just sell him my hand.”

Justin glared at Cameron. “No,” he said, whipping around. “No, I guess I can’t do that.”

“Do you have a problem with my choices?”

He said nothing.

“Do you have a problem with my choices? How I live and who I love are up to me, not you, and they never were up to him, either. You’re trying to be a version of him that never existed. You’re so caught up in your big-brother god complex, you’re taking the only brother I have left and turning him into a manipulative jerk. Isaac Whitman wasn’t like that. Justin Whitman isn’t, either.”

Justin turned his face to the ground, and Avery grabbed Isaac’s hand. “And you owe Isaac Fields an apology,” she seethed. “This is your friend. He is not our brother, and you cannot use him to fill that space.”

“Well, well. I forgot you were taking psych.”

“Nice to know the real Justin is still in there, you drunken ass.”

“Avie.” His voice was a strained rasp, and from ten feet away, the tequila on his breath hit her like a rancid wave.

“What do you want? This Isaac, the real living and breathing one, is about to walk away from you, and he’s taking your baby sister with him. You do not treat us like this. I will always come back to you, but you’d better ask nicely and shape the hell up. You’ll be lucky if our friend offers you the same grace.”

Isaac tugged her hand. “Avery, we don’t have to?—”

“I need you right now,” she whispered, and on hearing the wobble in her voice, he gave her hand a squeeze.

Justin didn’t respond. He glanced between them over and over as Avery counted to ten. Stone-faced, she intertwined her fingers with Isaac’s and led him away from the bonfire.

She pressed her back to the brick wall facing the parking lot, fighting for breath as the tears finally overflowed. “How could I say all that?” she gasped. “He needed me for comfort, and I attacked him. Why did I do that? And then when he showed a tiny bit of tenderness, I kicked him when he was down.” She brushed the tears from her cheeks and turned to him. “Isaac, that is not me. How could I have been such a bitch to him?”

“For whatever it’s worth, I don’t think you said anything he didn’t need to hear.” His lips were pale.

“He didn’t need to hear it in front of all those people. Oh God, everyone saw. I humiliated him. He will never forgive me.”