Page 95 of The Backup Plan
“I know I should go. I should do something.” He scrubbed his hands across his face and back through his hair, sending it up in a mess of blond spikes. “The program has stuff for us, too. People to talk to. I need to get over the hump and just do it.”
Cam twitched his lips, unsure if he was about to say something helpful or awkward, and decided to dive in. “Can I help by making an appointment for you?”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“My mom has a hard time with depression, and when she starts to feel bad is when she really needs to go in, but she feels so bad she thinks it won’t help, so she doesn’t do it. If my dad makes the appointment, she goes because she feels she has to, and it usually helps.” He paused. “Sorry if that’s weird to offer.”
“It’s weird, but I don’t know. Maybe.”
“I have some friends who have been good about helping me through some stuff this year, and it’s kind of nice to have people outside the program to talk to. I don’t think I’ve had any guy friends who weren’t teammates since middle school. It’s been good for me to get a different perspective.”
Still a football perspective, but one that made him feel a little less alone. He needed someone else in his job to commiserate with him about the media, about leadership after a loss, and the fears of public failure. He needed someone to joke with about the good and bad parts, the fans and the injuries and the way their pants fit. Justin needed someone to tell him other people had a difficult time grieving the loss of an idolized brother and finding their way without him. Someone else would have to tell him he wasn’t the only one who struggled seeing his sister grow up and watching his parents’ marriage disintegrate after a tragedy. Someone else would have to give him the hope he couldn’t give, and maybe Avery couldn’t give, either.
“Anyway, no pressure, buddy.” Cam raised his fist to bump against Justin’s. “I appreciate the apology. You and I are cool, and my offer stands. You’re a better man than you think you are right now, or Avery wouldn’t leave the door open for you. She’ll stand up to you and stand by you, so hang in there.”
Cameron Porter has created a private chat
Cameron
Paging @CoryThatcher
You’re probably out, but I wanted to tell you before I forget. Thanks for the list. We won in Colorado, but number three on the sideline speeches came in handy during a comeback today.
Cory
I’m here.
Which one was that?
Cameron
Travis Kelce smacking people and saying “More” something like twenty-six times in a row.
Cory
I love that one. As long as you’re breathing, there’s always a little left in the tank. Sometimes it’s just one word, and that’s all you need.
Cameron
That was me when we finally got our lead. And we kept it.
Cory
Have you talked to Ethan yet?
Cameron
No. I will. I just need to piece it all together so I don’t word-vomit a bunch of garbage that doesn’t make sense. Again.
Cory
You could draw him a picture if your big-boy words don’t work.
Cameron
I feel like you thought about using this line on me a long time ago, and you saved it.
Cory