Page 45 of Raven's Dawn
Calling this thing a saddle was silly. I supposed it was similar enough to an elephant saddle, but that still didn’t do the thing justice. Probably because an elephant wasn’t as big as a dragon. Not as big as this dragon, anyway.
The platform we sat on was as big as a king-size bed. There was plenty of room, but probably not as much as Graham needed to get away from me.
For the first several hours of the flight, that’s all I thought about. Considering everything that had happened today, it shouldn’t have been my top priority. I should’ve been more concerned about the ancient alien race of soul eaters that may or may not have been in cahoots with our enemies. But no. All I could think about was the fact that my friend was justifiably upset with me.
Thankfully, just after sunset, he woke. The sound of his grumbles came first, then a gasp.
I jolted, looking over my shoulder. He’d rolled backwards in the first moment of wakefulness, then either remembered he was on a moving dragon or realized he was too close to the edge of it. Either way, he was alright, and the saddle had a metal bumper to keep him from falling off. I would have done the same, though. That’s why I’d decided not to nap.
“You alright?” I asked.
He grunted. “Hanging out there. Literally. Thought I was gonna fall.”
I considered correcting his usage of that phrase, but decided against it. Now wasn’t the time to poke at him. “Yeah, I don’t know how you guys do it. I couldn’t nap on this thing if I tried.”
“Well, I was going on twenty-four hours with no sleep.” Carefully, he wiggled out from Rain’s grasp, unhooked his seatbelt, and crawled toward me. “If we’re here long enough, you’ll nap on one of these things eventually.”
“If you’d’ve said that yesterday, I don’t know if I would’ve believed you. Now…”
Stifling a yawn, he squinted ahead. “How long was I out?”
“Three or four hours.”
“We should be landing soon, then.”
“Another hour or so,” I said, gesturing to Amara and Jake on a neighboring dragon, “she said a few minutes ago.”
He nodded, still gazing ahead. “When we get there, be careful. With what you are and all, don’t expect kind treatment.”
“I’m not expecting that from my present company, either.” I managed a smile. He rebutted with a half laugh. “Think we should talk about this morning?”
“Probably best we handle it before Rain gets involved.” He glanced at her sleeping behind me. “I didn’t try to tattle on you. She started asking questions, then threatened to dig around in my thoughts, so I gave her a quick summary.”
“You could’ve told her.” Awkwardly clearing my throat, I shook my head. “That wasn’t okay. The way I acted—it wasn’t fair. I don’t blame you if you’re upset with me, and I wouldn’t blame her if she was either.”
“No. It wasn’t okay.” Green eyes moving between mine, he raised a shoulder. “And I didn’t hear an apology in there either.”
No, he hadn’t. Because it was not easy for me to apologize. Still, I owed him that much, at least. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“You should be,” he said.
I expected more of a response than that, but I had to take what I got. Wasn’t exactly in the place to make demands. “I don’t know what got into me. I should’ve thought. It should’ve been obvious you didn’t realize they were gone.”
“Even if I had, I still would’ve done exactly as I did.” He glanced my way, then turned back to the sky ahead. “There wasn’t anything I could do. Not at that moment. Maybe I would’ve gone to talk to Laila when things settled down, or Jeremy, but the fact is, it was out of my control.”
That was true. Rational. So why did it make my skin crawl and my stomach turn?
Normally, that was me. I was the rational one. Graham was the silly one. So why did his rationality piss me off and make me sick all at once?
“I hate that.” His voice was quieter now, almost impossible to hear over the whistling wind. “I hate that when I’m here, everything seems to be out of my control. I hate that the battle comes first. I hate that protecting those next to me matters more than protecting the people who matter most to me. But that’s just the way it is. That’s one thing you have to learn, Warren.”
No matter the knot in my stomach, he was right.
My voice cracked when I said, “But I don’t know how.”
“I bet you don’t.” Chuckling, he shot me a smirk. It wasn’t his usual playful chuckle, though. It was almost condescending. “I bet you don’t know how to adjust to a reality where you don’t get what you want all the time.”
Involuntarily, my jaw clenched. “It isn’t that. It’s just?—”