Page 95 of The Betrayal
“I'm aware,” Keaton sucks in a breath.
“Pregnant?” Connie repeats and she hasn't taken her eyes from me. ”Is that why you both got married?”
And now it's my turn to widen my eyes.
“No, no...” my head shakes quickly, “I didn't find out till the morning, plus my body was intoxicated with alcohol,” I hide my face as shame slaps me across both cheeks. “None of this was planned...” I whisper, trailing off for a moment.
“Things happen for a reason though,” she is quick to add in, her voice laced with softness.
“I know, but pregnancy was not one of them. How the hell will we cope with twins?” my elbows are on the table, and I feel the reassuring squeeze on my thigh from Keaton.
“You'll have us... all of us,” Connie smiles and I smile back at her.
“Not only is Titus due to become a dad again... he is going to be a grandpa,” and Kaleb has lost it again, laughing until tears roll down his cheeks.
“Yeah, he isn't going to be happy is he.”
“Not one fucking bit,” Kaleb mutters before cutting into his steak, “I wish you good luck, both of you,” he nods before popping a forkful of steak into his mouth and gentle conversation and laughter fills the room as our evening continues like nothing has changed.
It was perfect.
We said our goodbyes and I arranged to meet Connie and Reese for lunch tomorrow at SaraBeth’s. We loved it there. Now Connie and Reese knew, I somehow felt like I could breathe a little easier, silly, huh? Next on my list was my dad, but that wasn't going to go as smoothly. We both knew that. He would blow a fuse and honestly, I don't blame him. I'm close to twenty-two and I am pregnant with twins. Still none the wiser who the dad is, yet I have his best friend promising to be by my side either way.
Sad thing is, not only am I going to break my dad's heart, I am going to break mine and Keaton's in the process. I need to move out, I needed to stand on my own two feet ready for when the wrecking ball hits. Like I’ve said before, I know he has promised to be here whether the twinnies are his or not, but I just can't see it. Maybe I am being a negative nelly, but still, I have to be realistic. Once I am sitting with Connie and Reese tomorrow, I'm going to ask them about Killian's apartment and if it is available for me to crash in. I don't have much in the way of money, but I know he will help me out for a short interim. Just to get me settled. Just until I know what the hell is going on.
I was desperate to get back to work next week and have agreed with Sage I will still work the floor and hold dances, but I won't be doing any pole work for obvious reasons and then when I am too pregnant, I will sink into the shadows and work in the offices because let's face it, no one will want to watch me then. I'll be damaged goods.
A pain radiates in my chest, and I press the palm to my skin to try and alleviate it, but it’s no use. It doesn't help. What if Keaton does up and leave me? What if we end up ending our farce of a marriage and I am a single mother to twins. No one is going to want me. Really, who in their right mind would want to choose me, a young, single mom who is a stripper.
Where did it all go so wrong? My perfectly planned life that I had since I was a little girl is nothing but rubble on the floor beneath my feet. I always knew what I wanted. Straight ‘A’s, graduate, college, med school, internship, beautiful house out of New York with a white picket fence and a yard where my three kids could run wild with the most perfect husband. Ironically, I have a perfect husband and two out of three kids on the way. But this is not the dream I had painted for myself. I wanted to be at least thirty before I had kids. And yet here I am...
I climbed into bed, snuggled under the duvet when Keaton falls into bed next to me. Tugging the covers off me, his head on my stomach, fingers drawing little love hearts on my bare legs as my fingers find his hair, twirling strands between my fingers and I have never felt more content than I do right now.
“Did you enjoy your evening?” I ask, Desperate Housewives starting up in the background.
“I did, I feel like I have pulled away from my brother recently.” He admits, his voice lazy.
“And that's partly my fault,” his head lifts as he turns to look at me.
“What?” he scoffs a laugh.
“I feel like I am the reason, you have been so consumed by me and my problems that you have dropped everyone else,” I admit, and I don't know why, but I feel teary.
“Blossom.” The use of the nickname makes my heart soar and I love that it isn't overused because when he does say it, it makes it even more special. I blink at him, his body rolling round towards me now.
“You are definitely not the reason. Have you held a gun to my head and made me stay here?” he asks me, brows raised in his forehead.
“No.”
“I have been here because I have wanted to be here. You know me baby, no one can force me to do anything I don't want to... let that sink in for a moment,” he licks his lips all cocky and I am desperate to kiss him, but I know I need to pull back a little because he is consuming me whole, and I don't think my heart could take it when I walk out that door.
“I feel so out of depth,” I admit, my fingers back in his hair.
“You're not alone. We can both wade through these rough waters hand in hand. We have no idea what is coming, but we will get through it because we're together.” He pushes up and places a kiss on my lips, and as much as I want to push him away just to cause a scene that'll make it easier to walk away, I don't.
“Just don’t let me drown,” I rasp.
“Never.”