Page 69 of Surrender

“Whatchu’ gon do about it?”

I got on my knees and crawled to the end of the bed, beckoning him to me. He came to me, dropping his sweet, juicy lips on mine. I giggled as he picked me up and tossed me on the bed before playfully diving on me. He rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him.

“Welcome home, love,” he said, cupping my face.

“It’s good to be home. I can’t believe we’re here.”

“You and me both.”

He looked at me curiously with a goofy grin on his face.

“What?” I asked.

“You wanna test a theory of mine?”

My brows furrowed. “What kind of theory?”

He tapped my thighs, signaling for me to move. I rolled over onto my side and watched as he got up and went into the bathroom. He returned shortly with his hands behind his back.

“What do you have?” I asked.

“Just hear me out.”

“Okay…”

“I know we said we would wait… but when Jess mentioned children today, you got this look in your eye like you were thinking about something. Then you didn’t drink any of the wine Myra brought over. I just… I thought maybe you might be pregnant.”

My eyes widened. This man really did pay attention to everything about me.

“My period is late,” I admitted.

Excitement danced in his eyes. He pulled his hands from behind his back, revealing a pregnancy test.

“I don’t know how long I can hold out without knowing,” he said, hopefully.

“When did you get that?”

“When we stopped to get gas. What do you say?”

I hesitated for a moment before getting up and taking the test from him. I headed for the bathroom, and he started to follow me, but I held up a hand to stop him.

“If this is positive, I’m gonna need a second to process it,” I said.

He raised his hands and stepped back. “Okay.”

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Opening the box, I emptied the contents and stared at them. This was a life-changing moment. Jacob and I had only been married for about three months at this point. Was it too soon, given our circumstances? Were we ready to be parents?

So many big commitments so soon could be a bit much on anybody. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was dressed in nothing but a sports bra and a pair of boy shorts, so my stomach was on full display. There wasn’t a noticeable pudge or anything. I wasn’t having symptoms other than not having my period. That could be due to a number of factors, one being the stress I’d been under surrounding my family and my dad’s condition. There had to be some explanation besides pregnancy… didn’t there?

Sighing, I pulled my boy shorts down and sat on the toilet. I unwrapped the pregnancy test and closed my eyes as I peed on the stick. After capping and placing it on the counter, I cleaned myself, flushed the toilet, and washed my hands. Now it was a waiting game.

It was the longest couple of minutes of my life. I paced back and forth, nervously biting my lips and fingernails. I could see the shadow of Jacob’s feet outside the door, waiting patiently. When the timer went off, I took a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I reached for the test.

“Don’t be nervous,” I told myself.

I counted to three and opened my eyes only to find that the test was negative. I expected to be somewhat relieved, but in all honesty, all I felt was disappointed. Maybe somewhere inside, I’d hoped for a positive test. Things were so good between us. The love we shared was so beautiful, and to have a little bundle of that representation would have been perfect.

“Baby?” Jacob called.