Page 70 of Surrender

I grew sad, knowing how disappointed he would probably be. He looked so hopeful when he presented the test, and I just knew this would break his heart. Solemnly, I opened the door with the test in my hands.

“Well?” he asked.

I handed him the test and watched as his eyes saddened. He sighed heavily before pulling me into his arms.

“It’s okay,” he said, kissing my temple. “Maybe it’s just not our time.”

I gently stroked his back in a reassuring manner. Though he said the words, I could tell he was disappointed.

“You really wanted it to be positive, didn’t you?” I asked softly.

“I did.” He pulled away from me and sat on the bed, guiding me into his lap. “I know I said I wanted to wait a little while, but I can admit, I’ve been thinking about it.”

He gently touched my stomach and smiled softly.

“A little bundle of the love we share didn’t seem like such a faraway thought, you know. Getting to watch your belly grow with my seed had me excited for a moment.”

He stared at my stomach, seemingly lost in his thoughts. When he finally looked up at me, he gave a slight smile.

“Maybe not this time. Whenever we’re blessed with a baby, I just want you to know I got you. Whatever you need, whether it’s a foot rub, back rub, extended maternity leave… I’m gonna be right by your side.”

“I know, baby.”

I pecked his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck. I knew at that moment I’d be making an appointment to stop my birth control.

“Why are you looking so sad?” Jessa asked.

We’d met for a late breakfast today in between her classes, and my thoughts were preoccupied with the results of the false pregnancy test. It had been a few days, but it was all I could think about. I was trying my hardest to hide my disappointment for my wife. We had a conversation about children. It was even my idea to wait until we knew each other better before we brought a child into this world. Yet all of that changed when I got even an inkling that she could be pregnant.

“I’m okay, Jess,” I said, taking a sip of my drink.

“Don’t lie to me. You haven’t talked shit to me since we got here. What’s wrong?”

I sighed heavily. “I thought Kachelle might be pregnant.”

“Did she take a test?”

“She did, and it was negative.”

“Awww… I’m sorry, Jake. I know how you feel about kids. It’ll happen.”

“I know. I just hyped myself up and got disappointed. Whenever God blesses us with a baby, I’ll be grateful.”

“And you’ll be a great father. I mean, you had the best practice baby with me.”

I chuckled. “See how you made this about you?”

“It made you laugh, though, so it’s a win.” She smiled as she reached for my hand. “I don’t say it enough, but I’m so proud of you, Jacob. You’ve always been my inspiration. I’ve never seen you fail at anything you put your mind and heart to. I know I’m spoiled, and I can be bratty, but I hope one day I make you a proud big brother.”

“I’ve always been proud of you, Jess. I see past the spoiled brat. You’re loving, genuine, and smart as hell. You’re on the road to graduation as valedictorian. You’re one of the few people I know that doesn’t study, parties until two, a.m then jumps right up for class and ace that shit. Even though you hate people, you’re a people person, and they love you. It’s your energy.”

She flipped her hair. “I am a vibe.”

“And a little vain,” I mumbled, causing her to snatch her hand away.

“I’m confident, there’s a difference. I get that from you.”

“I raised you right.”