Page 148 of House of Ashes
“I understand.” My voice came out hoarse, tears prickling the back of my eyes. I didn’t deserve him, not in the slightest, which the bond seemed to know…and yet he seemed determined to show me exactly what it was like to have such a thing.
The things I couldn’t have…it was more clear to me than ever that I would never be able to forge a bond for politics.
Mate bonding to Tidas would have eventually killed me, whether it was by fading away or finding a way to destroy myself. I had seen it before, draga who couldn’t live with the constant pressure of a hated mate bond, who had taken to drink or drugs simply because they couldn’t handle a sober existence in a reality they despised.
No matter how selfish it was for an aspiring Dragonesse, I wanted the bond for love. I wanted to wake up to a dragon like this, every day of my life.
It hurt to know that someone else had ruined that. The things I could have had, right here in front of me…and yet our family history would always be a mountain between us.
I wished I had Anjali’s true killer right in front of me, so I could push them out the window and watch them splatter a few thousand feet below.
“Good. Stay right here and don’t move.” He braced himself on the edge of the bath, leaned in to kiss the top of my head, and vanished, leaving me to float alone in the steam.
When he returned, I eagerly took the cup of tea. A fine sediment had settled in the bottom, a familiar sight from my years in the Training Grounds. “How did you know which one it was? Did Kirana have them labeled?”
I should’ve just dragged my pathetic carcass into her still-room. I could’ve handled all of this without Rhylan seeing me as a whimpering, curled-up mess.
Rhylan managed to convey smoking sarcasm with a single raised brow. “I grew up surrounded by females. Gods forbid my father and I didn’t know what moon powder was.”
“Oh.” It had been a stupid question. I sipped my tea until it was cool enough to gulp, and drained the rest.
The next hour found me curled up under a bundle of blankets in the library, with a heated pad full of rice grains pressed to my lower belly.
The pain was already receding, and Rhylan had ordered a plate of sandwiches to be delivered while we took turns detailing a letter to Kirana.
I nibbled a triangle of soft white bread, cucumber, and watercress, no longer feeling that Aurae was lurking over my shoulder, waiting to spirit my soul away. The moon powder had begun its work immediately; Rhylan’s attentiveness to my pain had done a lot more.
“Ask her about Mykah,” I added, when Rhylan finished a paragraph and looked up at me. “I want to know more about her. She didn’t give me the impression of a spy, but…Doric seemed quite sure.”
He started to scribble another line on the parchment, and looked up at the sound of footsteps.
It was Nilsa, who had delivered the sandwiches in tense silence, and now she held another letter. Unlike the quickly-scrawled missives from before, this one was written on thin, perfumed vellum, with an engraved bronze border, and sealed with midnight blue wax.
My heart dropped to my toes, every muscle tensing, as Rhylan took it and tore it open.
“Relax,” he murmured. “We haven’t been called out. Chantrelle is sending out the official notice of Princess Asura and Cyran’s mate bond.”
“The Second Claim is in…” I glanced at the almanac calendar, open on the table beside me, and was jolted with shock. “A week. Sunya curse it, we lost half a week in Zerhaln.”
I had been so weary I hadn’t given much attention to marking the passage of days. We’d lost precious time in recovery.
“They’ll make their claim then, of course.” Rhylan tossed the letter onto the desk, his jaw set. “We need to get a letter to Tyria. Tonight.”
Chapter
Thirty-Two
“Something’s gone wrong. Should we…try to find her?”
I bit down on my lip as soon as the words left my mouth, but I didn’t need Rhylan to tell me it was a futile idea.
Four days had passed since we’d sent Alriss to Everael and Sylvaene Eyries, bearing our messages. She’d returned alone.
Undying Light’s Eyrie-Master had informed her that Kirana had left Everael within a day of arriving. She had remained there long enough to eat, sleep, and tend to Garnet. Upon hearing that Cyran was traveling to Shadowed Stars to make the bond with Asura, she’d left.
I assumed that she had understood that Cyran’s mate bond meant there was no chance of an alliance with Undying Light. Kirana would have moved on to the Wildlands by then, to seek out old family friends and hopefully return with a Horde at her back.
But no one had seen her since her departure from Everael Eyrie.