Page 56 of Ruined Wolf
“As I grew up, I avoided any kind of physical touch. The only touch I ever allowed was violence. That was easier. It was brief, painful, and almost hot. Then, when I became a man and had other... needs, it was all too easy to let that violence spill into that side of my life.”
I took a breath. “Maverick said there was an incident with a woman on the island.”
Lucas let out a huff of breath. “I’ve never talked about that, but yes. On the mainland, in the big cities, it was easy to find people who were all too happy to cater to my personal tastes, often for a price, but here... There’s nothing like that here. As the brother of the future alpha, I’m apparently a catch, despite how I look. Some of the girls thought they would take a shot at the bad boy of the pack, and they had some pretty extreme tactics.”
I laughed suddenly. “That’s what you meant the first night you found me in your bed! You thought I was there to seduce you and land me an alpha.”
“Pretty much. That girl Maverick spoke of... It didn’t go down the way she told everyone. I told her what I wanted, I gave her plenty of chances to back out, and she didn’t. She didn’t even use her safe word. If she had, I’d have stopped, but I thought she wanted it. Afterwards, she told me if I didn’t mate with her, she’d tell everyone how fucked up I was, and she was true to her word, I’ll give her that. It was investigated, but she dropped the charges after a while, and things eventually settled down. No one else knows what happened except the two of us, and now you. That night, when you were in my bed and I looked at you, you were so beautiful, and that scent...” He turned his face, pressing it against my hair and taking a deep breath. “Ahh, what it did to me, you have no idea. I couldn’t resist. For once, I didn’t want to hurt you, I wanted to give you pleasure, but I couldn’t bear to touch you, except... where I knew you would be warm. After seeing you come apart under my touch, I couldn’t get you out of my head after that.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I don’t think I’m ever going to be like Maverick. I still want that pain, and I want to be rough. I want to... force you... as long as you want that too, but that night I held you in my arms, the first time I knotted you, I realised there could be something more, something deeper, and I think that’s why it hurt so much when I found out you’d been lying.”
“Because you were being honest for the first time,” I said softly. “Lucas, I am so sorry.”
“Hush.” He slid his hand up, trailing one finger between my breasts to press his fingertip against my lips. I kissed it. “There’s something about the dark, isn’t there?” he asked. “Something concealing and secret. It feels safer talking here. I know I’m crazy.”
“No, that makes sense.” I shivered again, and he shifted under me.
“Saying that, you are freezing, and we need to find our clothes, just in case someone realises where we are and comes calling. I don’t want that coastal rescue lot seeing what belongs to me.” He ran his hand up my inner thigh, brushing his fingers against my folds, and I gasped.
“Lucas!”
He laughed. “I’m just teasing, though if we’re down here a while, at least we’ve got a good way of keeping warm.”
I shook my head in mock frustration, even though he couldn’t see it. “I was trying to find my trousers before, but it was too...”
I blinked as he flicked on the small flashlight I had brought with me. His face lit up, the shadows and tattoos giving him a demonic appearance.
“You had that the whole time? Why were we sitting in the dark? You could have...”
“I turned it off when I realised that with my own personal sunshine in my arms, I didn’t need any other light in the dark.”
I blushed, and he reached out, pulling me in for a kiss.
“You saved me, Nova. I don’t know how you did it, but even in this darkness, I can tell that many of my shadows have gone. I want to spend the rest of my life repaying you for that. Our mating was an unusual one, and I can’t speak for Maverick, since I don’t know where his head’s at, but after we get out of here, I want to have a proper mating ceremony in front of the whole pack. I want you to stay with me, Nova, and if Maverick can’t forgive you and it’s too uncomfortable here, then we’ll leave. Together. If you’ll have me.”
I pressed my lips against his as the gravity of what he said spiralled through my mind. This man, this incredible, dark, intelligent man, wanted me as his mate. Not because of a mate mark, and not because he desired my body, but because he wanted me. He loved me. The feeling was incredible, and I hardly dared believe it.
I pulled back slightly. “And the baby?”
He sighed, and my heart sank a little. “I can’t promise I can be a good father, Nova. Family life no longer comes easily to me. I can only do my best and hope I don’t let either of you down, but I’ll love him no matter what, as my nephew and as my son.”
My heart ached for him, and I reached out to brush my lips against his again. “Then my answer is yes.” A huge smile spread across his face, and I laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that.”
“This is the first time in a long time that I’ve felt like it,” he replied, pulling me in for another kiss and squeezing me tightly until I hit his arm.
“I need to breathe!”
“Sorry, yes, and you need clothes.” He reached out and deftly fastened up my jacket. “Sad as it is for me to lose sight of your gorgeous body.”
He helped me up and got slowly to his feet, pressing his hand against the wall behind us. He swung his torch over the pile of rocks, and I quickly located my boots and trousers as he fastened his clothes. When we were both dressed again, he pulled me in close under his arm. I was warmer now, but it was still chilly, and my clothes were damp.
“Hey, what’s that?” I asked, pointing. “Did you forget your belt?”
“No, I’ve got everything,” Lucas said, grabbing the strap I’d seen from between a couple of larger rocks. He dragged a tattered mess of heavy-duty straps out. It caught on something, and he kicked at the rocks until they gave it up, and then he lifted it, shining the torch over it.
“What is it?” I asked. “Some kind of fishing net?”
Lucas shook his head slowly. “No,” he murmured, his voice heavy. “It’s the harness my father was wearing when he came to rescue me. I took it off him and chucked it away. It’s been here all this time.”