Page 104 of Off Sides
Joey
Afew hours later, Nick has a stomachache from all the sweets, my ass has been used spectacularly, and we’re now watching a movie on the TV.
Nick is fidgeting, won’t keep still, which is making me nervous. When he sighs for the twentieth time, I pause the movie.
“What is your problem?”
“I want you to move to Washington with me after graduation.”
I blink at him as I process that since it’s definitely not what I was expecting.
“You—” I sit up so I can look at him clearly. “You want to live with me?”
Nick sits up too, confusion obvious on his gorgeous face. “Uh. Yeah. Obviously.”
“How is it obvious? What did I miss?”
He watches me for a minute, like he’s looking for something or trying to figure out if I’m messing with him.
“I guess you missed that I love you.” He shrugs. “You missed that you’re it for me and I will make damn sure that I’m it for you.”
Emotions build in my chest, excitement and fear battling for dominance until I’m choking on it. “How do you know?”
Nick holds my hand and laces our fingers together. “How do I know what?”
“That I’m it for you. How do you know you aren’t going to get tired of my issues and start hating me for them?”
He thinks for a minute, taking my question seriously, which I appreciate.
“Sometimes, I might get frustrated but it would be weird if I didn’t. Same for you. If you don’t get tired of my shit sometimes, it would be weird. But that doesn’t mean I won’t want you. Or that I won’t love you.”
Tears fill my eyes and one falls down my cheek. Nick cups my face and brushes it away.
“One more thing, I hope you want kids, because I desperately want to adopt the twins my parents currently have. They were made to be mine, just like you were. I need all of you.” Nick lifts onto his knees and pulls me against him, kissing me delicately. “What do you say?”
“Is it weird that I’m relieved I don’t have to come up with a plan for after graduation?” I laugh through the emotions clogging my throat.
He smiles and kisses my lips again. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got you.”
I tackle him to the bed while he laughs. For the first time, I’m excited about the future, about what it holds. Matt seems to be taking this all seriously; he found a therapist and starts seeing her next week, and Char said he’s gone to three AA meetings since I left. I’m proud of him but the real test will be when something goes wrong. I hope he’s able to lean on us and stay strong.
“I love you too,” I whisper into Nick’s skin. I’ve never said those words to anyone but my family. They scare the shit out of me. He scares the shit out of me. “I want to move to Washington and meet these kids you’re in love with. I want a future with you.”
“I hear a but coming.”
“But I’m scared.”
Nick lifts my chin so I’m looking at him and drags his thumb across my lip. “Oh, I’m scared too. You’re a flight risk, dude. But wanting you is stronger than the fear.” He cups my cheek and I lean into the touch. “If you need me to be brave for you for a while, I will. Lean on me, I’ll protect you. Even from yourself.”
Sliding up his body, I kiss him with a smile on my lips. He wraps a leg around one of mine, anchoring me to him, and I’ve never felt safer.
“You can’t die before me, okay?” I say against his mouth.
“I’ll do the best I can but if I do, you can’t turn into a workaholic and ignore our kids, okay?” Nick grips my chin, keeping me from kissing him.
“I guess, if you insist.”
“Oh, I do insist.”