Page 16 of Off Sides
“What’s going on? You wanna talk about it?”
It’s quiet for a minute before he sighs and lies back on the landing to stare at the bottom of the stairs above us.
“I’m the team captain this year. There are twenty-five guys on the team, and I’m responsible for all of them. If they fuck off and get in trouble, end up with alcohol poisoning, or drunk driving, it’s on me.”
“Uh, no the fuck it’s not,” I say matter-of-factly. “They are grown-ass adults. This is my second year as a captain, I understand the pressure you’re under to make sure the team works on the field or ice, whatever you call it.” He chuckles when I correct myself. “And yeah, infighting outside of the game affects performance, but if they go off and get drunk or decide to get high, that’s not on you. Not once have I seen anyone turn around in a locker room and ask where the captain was when some asshole ends up in the ER for alcohol poisoning. And trust me, that situation has happened more than once.”
I lie back on the floor and turn my head to look at him. We barely fit in the space, my body against both the wall and him. For just a second, I let my eyes flick to his mouth when he licks his bottom lip. My dick thickens in my jeans at the mental image of grinding against him, moans and panting breaths, deep kisses and goosebumps.
Fuck.
I turn my face away from him and force myself to breathe. Since anyone could walk in here at any time, I can’t be springing a woody in here. Especially if Joey isn’t out.
“What was that?” Joey sits up and leans on one elbow so he’s looking down at me, and it is not helping my current situation. At. All. The urge to reach for him and lower his lips to mine is so damn strong. I ball my fists, then shove them under my ass to keep them to myself.
“Nothing.” I shake my head and sit up, forcing him to move.
“Right,” he says knowingly.
“Look, I’m pretty sure freshmen were created to drive the upperclassmen nuts. I know we did too. At this point, a lot of them are on their own for the first time in their lives. Much like toddlers, they’re testing limits and finding what their boundaries are. We just need to make sure we set a good example, be available if they want to talk, and try to keep them from killing each other.” I pat his knee, and it takes a lot of self-control to remove my hand afterward.
“How old are you?” Joey asks. Surprised, I turn to look at him.
“Twenty-two. Why?”
“I have freshmen who are twenty-one. That kid tonight, is one of two of the eighteen-year-olds I have. In hockey, it’s pretty common to start college late. I’m twenty-five.” He takes a deep breath. “I feel like I have nothing in common with a teenager anymore. How am I supposed to lead them when I can’t connect with them?”
It’s admirable that he takes this so seriously. Maybe I’ve taken advantage of the fact that there are five other captains to help carry the weight, but there are also a hundred and seventeen guys on the team.
“A lot of times, these guys need to learn lessons the hard way. They’re going to fuck up, and they have to deal with the consequences. That’s life. You can’t protect them from that.” Getting an idea, I slap his chest and stand. “Come on.”
He sighs but stands, following along behind me to the third floor and into my dorm. My roommate is one of the lucky ones that get to leave during winter interim, so I’m alone until New Year’s.
Joey drops down onto my bed, and I pull out a bottle of vodka from the mini fridge Neal, my roommate, has.
“Didn’t we just tell the freshmen not to make dumb choices?” He smirks at me but takes the cup I offer him with orange juice and vodka in it.
“We know our limits,” I scoff and clink our plastic cups together. I sit next to him, and we both take a drink.
Joey stares into his like it has the answer to life’s questions.
“Can I ask you something?” he finally says, squeezing the cup until it makes a sound, then releasing it.
“Of course.” I shrug and look at his profile. The man is gorgeous, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw. His lips look soft and a little puffy. Is that still from the kissing earlier?
His eyebrows pull together, and he lifts one hand to his mouth to chew on the cuticle that’s already red and ragged.
“How. Like. When.” He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, then blurts the words out. “How did you know you liked guys?”
I wasn’t sure where this was going, but that wasn’t it.
He turns to look at me, and I carefully wipe the surprise off my face.
“In junior high, I was curious what it was like to kiss a boy. I liked girls, but I thought I might like boys too, but since I felt like I wasn’t allowed to watch them the same way, I wasn’t sure.” I clasp my hands together between my knees. “In high school, a bunch of the football team was having a party, and someone dared another teammate to kiss me. We were drunk and fifteen. So he did, and that was the confirmation I needed.” I shrug like it wasn’t the most stressful time of my life at school. Like I wasn’t terrified that it was written all over my face that I didn’t hate it.
Joey’s eyes drop to my lips for a second before he turns away. Fuck, I wish he would just kiss me already.
“Have you been questioning what you like? Is sex with men new for you?” I ask carefully. I don’t want to spook him if he’s not ready to talk about it, but knowing that much would help. “It’s okay if you are or if you’re solid in what you already know. Sexuality is a spect?—”