Page 91 of Off Sides

I interrupt the two of them, talking over both as they yell at each other. “You know what, I’m done.”

Heading upstairs, I grab all my stuff and shove it back into my bag, then stomp my way down the stairs. “Char, can I stay with you tonight? I’ll get a bus back to school tomorrow.”

She’s looking at me in shock, but snaps out of it when I head to the front of the house. The front door opens and Mom stops in the doorway, eyeing my bag.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She looks behind me, seeing Matt standing with his crutches at the table and Charlotte with her stuff behind me. “You’re not done here, Matt’s not ready to be left alone all day.”

Steeling my spine, I square my shoulders and tell my mother what I should have years ago. “I am not my father and I am done raising your children.”

I clench my jaw, forcing myself to hold back the tears that are threatening to choke me. How many times have I told Charlotte to ignore Mom’s calls? To leave town? Time to put my money where my mouth is and take my own advice.

“How dare you talk to me that way!” Mom’s face flushes with anger as she comes toward me. “You are an ungrateful, spoiled brat who never learned to put others above yourself! You didn’t raise my kids, I did! Alone! With no help!”

“Bullshit. I’ve bent over backward for this family, raising my siblings while you worked to pay off medical bills. Me. Not you. Char has always understood that. You were the unreliable one and Matt decided I was the one to punish for all of it. I was the only one who didn’t get to grieve the death of my father. I promised him I would step up, be the man of the house, watch over Matt and Char. I did all of that while you worked. You were never there. I will not allow you to take any more of my life.”

She rears back and slaps me across the cheek. The sting is immediate, quickly followed by heat, and I’m left staring at the wall instead of my mother. Charlotte gasps behind me then moves around me to start screaming at her.

Slowly, I turn my head to look at her but I don’t say a word, just let her stand there with what she’s done hanging between us like a suffocating cloud.

Determination has me pushing past her and walking away. Away from my childhood. Away from the woman who took advantage of me for years. Away from the anchor of my past that kept me chained in the dark.

It’s time for the light. For the future. For Nick.

The ride to Charlotte’s is quiet. Both of us are in our own heads, processing what happened. When she parks in the driveway and turns off the car, we just sit there.

“The guest room is kind of a mess but the sheets are clean.” Her voice is quiet.

“Thank you.”

She nods and we get out, I grab my bag and follow her inside the little yellow bungalow with white porch railings. It’s so perfectly her that it almost makes me smile. Maybe tomorrow I can smile again, but not tonight.

Tonight, I mourn the burial of my old life.

Without a word, I head to the room she indicated and close the door. There’s boxes, college text books, and a sewing machine kind of thrown around in here but the bed is clear and I can get to it. That’s all that matters.

Dropping my bag, I toe off my shoes and text Nick.

JOEY:

Are you busy?

NICK:

Never too busy for you.

JOEY:

Can I call?

My phone buzzes with an incoming video call. When the video starts, it’s Nick’s concerned face and a little boy snuggling into his chest. It’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen and I burst into tears.

Covering my eyes with my free hand, I let the sobs take me, the tears race down my cheeks, and I purge the built-up emotions. Nick doesn’t say anything, he’s just there. I don’t know how long it takes but by the time the tears slow and I can breathe again, my throat is sore, my mouth is dry, and my eyes ache.

“There you are.” Nick’s voice is soft and reassuring when I glance at the screen, but I can’t hold his gaze, not yet.

“Sad,” a little voice says and I look at the phone to see the little boy in his lap pointing at the phone.

“Yeah, he is sad. It’s okay to be sad sometimes.” Nick rubs the little boy's back in a comforting rhythm.