Page 93 of Off Sides

In the doorway of my childhood bedroom, we cling to each other and search for the comfort we needed all those years ago.

“Seeing you fall apart, it broke my heart. At that point, you leaned so heavily on Brent that when I tried to comfort you, you shrugged away. So I stopped trying.”

“It’s okay, Momma.” I hate how the system has fucked over those who actually care and want to help. So many hands are tied. Now, as an adult, I know she couldn’t have snagged Emma and kept her here without permission. She could have lost all the kids living here and had her foster license pulled. Hell, she could have been arrested for kidnapping if it got bad enough. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. That wasn’t fair.”

“Nothing about the situation was fair. To any of us.” Lifting her head back to look at me, she cups my wet cheeks with tears trailing down her own face. “I love you, you know that, right? Always. Forever.”

I can’t breathe past the knot in my throat so I just nod. She pulls my head down to kiss my forehead then wraps her arms around my neck in a hug.

“I’m so proud of the man you’ve become.”

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“But you have to go, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

She cups my cheeks again, this time smiling. “Okay. I want to meet him at some point, understand?”

“Joey. His name is Joey.”

“You said that already. I don’t care what his name is, I want to meet him.” She steps back and I wipe at my face while chuckling.

“Yes, ma’am.”

She wipes the tears from her face too and leans on the doorjamb. “Troy and Sammy are gonna miss you, so don’t be a stranger, you hear me?”

While I finish packing, I ask about their situation and if they’ll be available for adoption. If they are, I’m moving back here after graduation so I can be in their lives and start the process of getting custody of them. It can take a while but I’ll wait as long as I need to. I need them just as much as I need Joey. Fuck, I hope he wants kids.

37

Joey

Sitting at the kitchen table in my sister’s house is weird. She’s such an adult. Her fiancé was up and gone before I got up but I can tell how much he loves her by the way she talks about him. The pictures all over the house show it too. She’s happy here and it’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.

She’s making breakfast at the stove while I drink a cup of coffee. The bacon is sizzling away and making my mouth water. Charlotte is chatting away, talking about the flowers she wants to plant in the front yard and maybe some veggies in the backyard. I’ve never known her to want to garden but she’s excited about it and I love that.

She’s pulling bacon off the stove when the doorbell rings.

“Are you expecting someone?” I ask as I head toward it.

“Nope.”

Matt is standing on the porch, leaning on his crutches, looking rumpled and uneasy.

“Hey,” he says, barely making eye contact.

I cross my arms and wait. If he thinks he’s coming in here to sleep on Char’s couch, he’s got another think coming.

“Are you gonna let me in?”

“Depends on what you’re here for.”

He huffs and clenches his jaw. “I just want to talk to you for a minute.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You aren’t here to try to weasel your way onto Char’s couch?”

“No. She’s too damn peppy in the morning. It’s unnatural.”