Page 103 of Love Unwritten
I’m not good as new. Not even close, although I breathe through the discomfort and pretend I’m having the best time because Nico is enjoying all the one-on-one attention from his dad. Watching the two of them finally getting along warms my heart, and I refuse to be the reason they cut today’s special activity short, regardless of feeling shitty.
At the captain’s suggestion, I sit near the back of the boat while they hang out in the front, casting lines while learning all about Hawaii and its local wildlife.
Rafael keeps glancing over at me with knitted brows, but I wave him off and continue flipping through my notebook as I try to distract myself from the deep sea and my anxiety by working on a new song.
I haven’t bothered writing music since I left Los Angeles, but I feel like putting my pen to paper today, especially since it usually quells my nerves.
My hand trembles, not because I’m anxious about writing but because of what scribbling the very first line represents.
My fresh start.
Even if I never agree to Cole’s songwriting opportunity, I’m going to reclaim the person I was, one song verse at a time.
While Nico and Rafael spend their time fishing, I alternate between staring at the horizon to fight my nausea and scribbling random lyrics I think up in my head. Most of my lines don’t make sense, but one sticks out amongst all the others.
It was snowing hard on Christmas Eve,
When our paths crossed that first time.
I’m so caught off guard by it that I scribble over the lyrics until they are no longer recognizable. I expect to feel relief at erasing the evidence of my first meeting with Rafael, but something tugs at my chest instead.
Something that feels a little like regret.
I haven’t written a song about my personal life since “Silver Scars,” yet here I am, starting a new song off by referencing him.
I close my notebook and pull out my phone to distract myself with a random game, but nothing can make me forget how Rafael inspired a lyric.
And I’m not quite sure what to make of it.
Nico wants us to take a stroll on the beach after dinner. While I’m happy to walk off our meal, Rafael doesn’t appear to share the same sentiment. He seems grumpier than usual, and I can only assume it has something to do with me and the cursed boat day.
When I asked him to take a picture of me earlier so I could prove to my mom that I wore the dress she picked out, he could hardly look at me.
I blame the unique retro pattern and bright colors. My mom found it while sifting through the racks at the consignment store in town, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her no, so I packed the floral frock despite it clashing with my entire closet.
When I put it on, I felt pretty, but one look at Rafael’s pained expression made me question my fashion choice.
Thankfully, Nico seems to have a completely different reaction from his father’s as he stops by one of the hibiscus bushes and yanks on an orange flower.
He turns and holds it up for me. “A pretty flower for a pretty girl.”
“Thank you.” I tuck the flower behind my ear with a smile. “These are quickly becoming my favorite.”
Nico tries to be slick by going behind my back, but I catch him motioning for Rafael to do the same. My cheeks, already warm from today’s sun, flush as I pretend not to notice Rafael struggling with the idea.
With a soft huff, Rafael scans the bush twice before he appears satisfied with an option. He gently grabs a flower that reminds me of the sunset, with the ombre petals resembling the sky around us.
It’s a perfect match for my dress.
Unlike Nico and his sweet words, Rafael doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to.
Not when he looks at me with so much want it makes my body tremble.
I’m not sure he even notices, but for a brief second, his guard drops, and I finally see what he has been trying to hide all night long.
Lust.
My core pulses with need, and I press my thighs together and pray for it to go away.