Page 45 of Nocte

“A day to think,” I hiss into her reddening flesh. She gasps, trying to blink the tears back. Fuck her. She’s ruining everything. Her punishment comes swiftly—I step back and force her to meet my gaze. Then I press a finger against the corners of both black eyes and smear any residual tears into nothingness.

“Stop crying. Give me a day to think.” I’m a good enough liar that she believes me. She swallows. Gasps for air. Nods.

I can have a day, a reluctant request. A way to stall for time. No way in hell will I help her.

No way in fucking hell.

I shove her back and turn away. No taunting goodbye. No threat to come tomorrow.

Because I won’t. This game has gone far enough. I’ll see her again at the ceremony when I can bite and tear and take what I’m owed. Not her body, but the next best thing.

The only thing that matters.

I’ll have her life in the palm of my hands, andthatis all I want.

CHAPTER14

Niamh

Iam so very tired. It isn’t the natural exhaustion I used to feel after a particularly hard day of chores. No. This is something else. A malaise that drains me every waking moment. It festers and weighs me down until—for only a second—I can breathe again.

It’s those moments that I hate the most. They happen in snatches, whenever I feel an icy breath fan against my shoulder and a gruff voice whispers into my ear. Then and there, I suddenly have all of the energy in the world. To run with. Fight with. Die with.

And I’m frozen. Whenever he touches me, I’m frozen. Can’t resist. Can’t push him off. Can’t deny…

But it’s the price I’m willing to pay. Corruption I’m willing to endure. Anything. I’ll suffer any indiscretion or punishment. My entire life, I’ve endured worse for far less.

But his cruelty…

It doesn’t hurt the way it should. He doesn’t feel the way he should. I don’t want…

Until I feel his fingers grazing my skin, and I’m greedy again. Too greedy. And I can’t remember exactly what I’m after. Can’t remember the only thing in the world I desire. To leave. To see. To experience the mortal realm.

Whenever he touches me, I drown.

My only solace is that he won’t come back. I know it. I got too greedy. Demanded too much. For the first time in my life, I asked for far too much.

There are some things that a vamryre cannot provide. Some risks are too great, and I alone am not a worthy enough prize. If I knew what he really wanted, I’d scrape and crawl to get it. I’d give him anything. I would.

I can’t. And it hurts. It hurts like a gaping wound that won’t heal, and for the first time in my life, I can’t move like I used to. My chores are a nightmare, tedious and tortuous. I’m sweating before I’ve finished cleaning the floor. Every book I return to the shelves weighs an almost unliftable amount. I am so heavy and slow and bumbling.

When Day appears, I can’t even muster up a greeting or a smile. All I can do is avert my face so he can’t see my frown. My disappointment.

For the first time in my life, he isn’t the one I need to see standing there.

“The ceremony is nearly upon us,” he says, his voice lifting with excitement. He is so very happy. Happy to ignore my rudeness. Happy enough to stalk forward, radiating warmth and light. Happy enough to take my hand without asking.

And I am shameful enough to cringe back and trip over my own feet. Shameful enough to clutch my hand to my wrist as if it burned. Shameful enough to feel—even for one second—unnerved. As if… I don’t want him to touch me.

“D-Day, I’m sorry,” I say to the floor, struggling to right myself. When I look up, he is no longer smiling. His green eyes are blazing and angry. He almost resembles a vamryre. Almost.

“What is wrong with you?” he asks, voice trembling with derision.

“I… I don’t know,” I croak back. I don’t know. The entire world is shifting and spinning around me. For once, I don’t know my place. I’ve forgotten it. My little hole in the shelf is sealed up and inescapable. Where in the world do I belong?

I don’t know. Maybe deep down, I never really knew.

“You’ve been distracted for days,” he continues to rant. “I have tolerated your disrespect, but honestly, sister. Is this how you repay me for all the times I’ve visited you?”