Page 64 of Broken Empire
“Huh?”
“Well, your face looks like a thundercloud and you just started grunting to yourself.”
“Oh, uh nothing.Justthinking aboutAntonioand how muchIwant to kill him,”
“Speakingof, when are you going to?”Hunterbutts in and asks.
“Soon.Ijust want him suffering and in pain for a little while longer.AndthenIwant to put this all behind us, get the fuck out of here and get back to our lives.”
“Okay.Whateveris floating your boat right now.Iwas just wondering how long you were going to keep him for.What’sthe plan for when we leave here and head back toRavenwood?Causelet me tell you,Idon’t think my sister will make that easy for you either.”
“Yeah, we’re not keeping him for long.That’sfor sure.I’mgetting some things lined up for when we get home to keep her safe and who the fuck you telling?Iknow she’s going to be difficult, just to be difficult.”
“Doesshe know he’s here?”
“No.Shehasn’t realized it yet.She’spretty much been occupied with everything that’s going on inside her head and hating me of course,”Imutter.
“Ofcourse,” he laughs.
Iflip him the bird asIcontinue to write my love note to her.WhenI’mdone,IleaveHunterandGrayin the kitchen and then walk back to her room.
Ipeep inside and see that she’s still asleep which is good, since she also needs the rest.ThenightsIstay sitting outside her door, looking at the feed through my phone,Isee that she’s restless or sometimes she’s just sitting up in bed in the dark.
Itfucking kills me every time to see her like that.
Somenights when she’s asleepIslip into bed next to her and just hold her until she calms down.Thenights when she’s awake though,Iwouldn’t dare becauseI’msure she’d kill me.Thosenights gut me the most, becauseIknow she’s hurting so much andIcan’t do anything to take that pain away.Ihave no idea if she even knows thatIspend every night outside her door.
Iadd the new flowers in the vase with the old ones on her nightstand and the note next to it before placing a kiss on her forehead and leaving again.
Ifeel a wave of anger hit me suddenly and instead of going back with the guysIhead down to the basement.Ispend an hour beating the shit out ofAntonio, before heading back up.
There’reblood splatters all over my front, soIdecide to grab a shower before hanging out with the guys again until she wakes up.I’mjust passing by her room whenIhear the whimpering.
Iquickly push open her door and the light from the hallway illuminates her.Myheart cracks at the sight of her.She’son her knees, bent over with one hand on the floor and the other clutching her chest as though it pains, while sobbing.
Iquickly rush into the room and get down on the floor with her.Isit on my butt and open my legs, pulling her between them.Ihold her around the waist while using the other hand to rub her chest.
“Tellme what’s the matter baby,”Imurmur, while still rubbing and shushing her, trying to calm her down.
“Idon’t want to keep living like this!”
“Howbaby?Tellme please.Letme help you,”Iplead with her.
“Youcan’t help me!Ikeep having flashbacks of everything he did to me.Itry to forget but it’s like a living, breathing entity that just keeps consuming me andIdon’t know how to get rid of it.Oneminute everything is alive inside me, tormenting me and the next it all goes numb and allIwant to do is die.Ican’t sleep because the monsters find me there too.WhyamIconstantly living in a hellIdidn’t choose?”
“IknowIcan’t help you baby and it kills me every goddamn day.Butwe’re going to get through this.Youare so fucking strong.Thestrongest womanIknow andI’mpositive that with the right help you’ll pull through this baby.Pleaselet the doc help you and don’t fight her.Iknow it’s scary to talk about, but just remember you survived when so many others most likely didn’t.”
“Survivedjust to be stuck in this nightmare of an existence, how is that any good?”
“Iknow it might seem like that right now but you are going to fucking pull through.Youare not going to let that asshole win.Youare meant to do so much more than just exist.You’remeant to live free from that nightmare and be happy and byGod,I’mgoing to fucking make that happen,”Itell her, before turning her head a little and giving her a little kiss.It’stender and salty from her tears but it’s also perfect.Amoment later she pulls back and looks up at me.
“WhatifIdon’t want to be strong?WhatifIdon’t want to be here anymore?WhatifIjust want to end it all?”
“Iwon’t let that happen.Ipromised you already thatI’mgoing to make sure you get strong again and nothing is going to stop that.Noteven you baby,” she goes to answer but the light in her room turns on.Weboth look up to seeHunterandGraystanding by the door.
“Areyou both alright?”Hunterasks.
“Yeah, bro.Justhaving another meltdown,” she says, and then her eyes widen when she gets a good look at me. “Whyare you covered in blood?”