Page 61 of Lord of Vice
Why the hell had I suddenly become jumpy?
“We’re not going to do this, Penny. I have too many enemies not to ensure that those I allow inside my inner sanctum are trustworthy, at least to the point they won’t attempt to do anything stupid.”
She tossed her purse on the couch, immediately removing Remington’s leash. “Inner sanctum. You truly make it sound like you believe you’re the king of the world.”
“I’m king of my empire, one that both my father and I worked hard to make viable after coming to this country.”
“Mmm… Before you beat Misha to a pulp, he mentioned you found him on the streets of Moscow.”
Her exaggeration was irritating but I knew why she was goading me. “I did. He was an orphaned kid with nowhere to go and I had a feeling about him.”
“Let me guess. He witnessed a crime.”
My jaw immediately clenched not only by what she was insinuating and by the harsh look in her eye, but also because she had no idea how close she was to the truth. “He saved my life, Penny. Did he tell you that?”
She blinked several times, softening once again.
“No. He was too busy singing your praises. I wonder if he’s doing that now?” She folded her arms, continuing to act as if by invading her privacy, I’d stripped away what little amount of trust she’d placed in me.
What I couldn’t tell her was that neither Misha nor I had been able to save someone even more important, at least to me. I was tired of sparring with Penny.
“Let me ask you something, Kraven. Does it ever get old needing to look over your shoulder? Do you ever want to be someone else, born into a family where you don’t have a red target placed on your back, a field of enemies so wide they outnumbered the people you can trust? Did you ever want to simply be something like an accountant or a doctor, walking on the right side of the law while being able to live your life without fear?”
“The simple answer is yes, Red Penny. But I wasn’t allowed that. I was born into a regime that’s been around for generations. I wasn’t allowed any choices, required to take over the helm. And while it might sound enviable that other people can go about their lives engaged in frivolous activity like barbeques with friends, amusement parks, and singing Christmas carols, thereal truth is that at any time there could be a home invasion or they could walk to their car and be hit by a stray bullet. What’s the difference in how I live my life?”
She inched closer, staring at me incredulously. “What’s the difference? Are you kidding me? The difference is called hope. Celebration. It’s about all those things you called frivolous that give a reason for living, for enjoying life to its fullest. Laughter. Love. Giving. Receiving. All foreign to you but special to pretty much ninety-nine percent of the population. I’m sorry you have no family. I’m sorry you weren’t given any choices when you were a kid. But you’re no longer a child, Kraven. You’re a man of importance, or so I keep hearing. Make choices now for you, not because of the past.”
She glared at me in such a way that I felt some sense of admiration. “Ah, but I do have a family.”
Her eyes opened wide, the slight tilt of her head telling me I’d shocked her. “Please don’t tell me you’re married? I will be sick.”
She had me chuckling all over again. “No, my beautiful baby. I have a brother. He was only ten when our parents died in a horrific accident. I’ve done what I could to allow him the choices I didn’t have but he hates me much like you do. And no, I’m not fatherly material. I don’t know how to be in a relationship, but I do have feelings like anyone else. I feel pain, heartache, worry, and even fear. But I am not allowed to admit that to anyone. Anyone. If I did, I would be eaten alive, anything and everything I care about used against me, my emotions considered a weakness. And in my world, men who allow themselves to indulge in weaknesses are killed.”
She took a deep breath, holding it for several seconds. When she let it out, turning her head away from me, it was more raggedthat before. “How sad, Kraven. How very sad. At least I know you’re human. That’s not fair. What you allowed me to see today was… special.” She moved to the set of back doors, throwing one open and walking outside.
Special. She was the one who was special, allowing me to see the world through someone else’s eyes. Fuck. I was envious. How was that for being emotional?
I watched her for a few seconds before looking down at Remington. He had a perplexed look on his face much like I did. Why the hell was I allowing this woman to get under my skin was the question of the day. And maybe the year.
After a few seconds, I headed outside myself, leaving the pup in. She was standing away from the edge of the balcony, her hands fisted and at her sides. I walked closer yet kept my distance.
“I’m not trying to destroy your life, Penny. I’m only trying to protect you. In doing so, I must ensure there’s nothing in your background that would make you the target. I’m sorry if you can’t understand that but it’s important that I know all the players.”
“I don’t have anyone wanting to kill me that I know of. Maybe the Morelli brothers.” She laughed nervously. “Then again, maybe my ex.”
“Your ex?”
She threw out her hand. “I’m partially kidding. Jake wouldn’t be caught dead bothering to get his hands dirty. He is a very important man, acting as if he’s being groomed for some highfalutin political office one day. He certainly can’t have a murder conviction on his record.”
Now we were getting down to the crux of why she’d run away. And the reason she’d used self-mutilation to soothe the anxiety and sadness. And I was furious all over again. What had the fucker done to her? “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not right now. It’s very private and very harmful just to think about. It’s taken me a long time to feel like I had value any longer. Okay? Jake Withers is many things, but he’s not a murderer nor would he dare cross you. Even if his family has more money than God.”
The mental note was made about the guy’s name and I would look into the asshole’s background, but I doubted he would wait six months and suddenly appear trying to kill me.
I’d also been thinking more and more about the fact she’d been working with the Morellis. She had the same look as some of the others who’d disappeared, sweet and innocent. If she’d run out on them, they’d likely be eager to get her back. Especially if she’d been promised to a wealthy suitor.
“You might be right that the Morelli brothers want you out of the picture.”