Page 67 of Heartless

I chuckle softly and nod.

“None of this was fair to either of us, but what we’re doing right now to MJ isn’t fair either.”

“You’ve told me that she pushed you away, Nyx.”

“She did, but she’s struggling. I committed to better or worse. This is her worse, Shar.”

“And what if it continues to get worse from here?”

Shrugging, I release a loud, prolonged sigh and say, “Then that’s what I signed up for.”

Sharla reaches her hand up again and presses it to the side of my face. “She’s got a damn good man. It’s too bad that she doesn’t know that. But if she continues throwing you away, whatever the excuse may be, she’s going to come back one day and find you gone forever. Every woman isn’t going to be the way that I am. You love her, I get that. So, I’ll bow out gracefully. Another woman would fight to keep you by her side, even if she had to fight dirty.”

“But you’re not other women...are you, Shar?”

“No. Lucky for you, or maybe unlucky for you, I’m not.”

Sharla leans close to me with her hand still on the side of my face and presses her lips to mine. I wrap my arm around her back and pull her close, softly tasting her lips before she opens them to me.

The kiss is gentle, prodding, and yet sorrowful. It is our goodbye kiss, and we both know it.

I feel the tears falling from her eyes and dampening my face.

“I will forever love you, Nyx. No matter who else comes along, you will forever be in my heart.”

Pressing my forehead against hers, I reply, “And you in mine.”

I know that although I will walk away from Sharla for good today, she will always hold a special place in my heart. She was my first love, and the only girlfriend I had until MJ.

But I’m no fool. Sharla wasn’t meant to be my wife, nor was I meant to be her husband.

“I don’t want women fighting over me. I only want to fight by the side of the woman that I belong to.”

I kiss her forehead and get up to get dressed and leave her hotel room.

I don’t see her again on the rest of the trip. I take a private plane home to avoid running into her again. It was not until the next day, when I returned home, that I received a text from her.

SW:I want to thank you for dealing with our past so we can both be truly free for our future.

ME:Not necessary.

SW:What we shared the other night meant a lot to me. I don’t think that our friendship has to end, though. You’ve made the lines pretty clear.

ME:I can’t afford to go there, Shar.

SW:Not saying that we have to go there, but let’s talk about it.

ME:Why?

SW:Too much history to ignore & pretend we can work together comfortably without acknowledging that VERY BIG BLACK ELEPHANT present in the room when I enter. Our friendship doesn’t have to end just because of what we did.

ME:We both know that it does. The temptation is too great, and it will always be that way.

SW:Maybe it will be, maybe it won’t. Don’t want shit to get awkward.

ME:Neither do I.

SW:Then let’s just move the way we did before Vegas.