Page 68 of Heartless

ME:It’s hard to keep my hands off you.

SW:Then don’t.

ME:Don’t you tempt me.

SW:??

ME:I love my wife. I’ll never leave her, Shar. I just pray that she can forgive me for my indiscretion.

SW:You plan to tell her?

ME:I have to. I’ve never lied or kept a secret from her before. I’m not about to start now.

SW:Good luck.

ME:Thank you.

16 – MEADOW

“Onyx, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since you’ve been away in Vegas.”

“And?” he says, taking off his shoes and then his socks.

He returned from Vegas a few days ago, but there’s been an abnormal strain between us. He’s silent whenever he’s home, and he’s been lost in thought.

Today, I had an epiphany. I truly love my husband, and he’s stood by my side even when I was behaving like a bitch. I want to save my marriage.

I walk around to his side of the bed, grab his shoes and tie, and take them to his closet.

“What were you thinking about?”

“The way that I’ve been acting since the assault, and how I have pushed you away.”

“Yeah?”

I turn around to find him standing in the doorway, leaning against the door jamb and watching me.

“I know that I haven’t been easy to live with these last several months. And I’m sorry that I’ve made it difficult for you. I’ve just been in this place that I don’t understand. A place that is difficult for me to find my way out of.”

Onyx continues watching me, and I can’t help but wonder if all my thinking and praying came a minute too late.

“And I know what you’re going to say,” I say, walking toward him.

He lifts an eyebrow and shifts his shoulder but doesn’t say anything.

“You’ve done everything you can to help me, and I’ve resisted every effort. I’m not quite ready to go to counseling just yet, but I do admit that I need it.”

He nods and waits for me to continue.

“What I’m sure of is that I need you, Onyx. I can’t make it through this thing without you. Maybe it was too much to put on you alone or even myself. But I want my life back. In fact, I want it to be better than before. Do you think that’s something we can work towards?”

I rest my hands on his shoulders and look up at him. Onyx glances away from me, and it tugs something in my heart.

“If that’s what you want and you’re willing to work at it, then I am too.”

I smile and tip up to kiss his lips. There’s no passion in the kiss he returns. It’s perfunctory at best.

Onyx turns and heads away from me and towards the bathroom. I stand watching my husband walk away from me and taking his heart with him.