Page 88 of For the Record

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure it would help to talk. But honestly, the last thing I want right now is to see him.” Maybe not the last thing, but still, it was low on the list.

Marigold leaned her back against the couch. “What if you go visit your dad tomorrow? Get out of this house and just hang out with him. It seems to always help you.”

A corner of my lip pulled up. “Yeah, I think I will.”

“Well, until then, let’s go un-organize Adam’s closet and hide all of his left shoes.” Calla stood, and we all laughed and followed.

That night alone made me realize that maybe some people were bound to leave you, but the ones who stuck with you were the only ones worth having. So maybe I’d done something right in life after.

Currently playing: Cats In The Cradle by Harry Chapin

***

I settled on Dad’s couch with a mug of what I thought was coffee. It tasted really watered down, so I just set it on the coffee table and pretended like I wasn’t interested. Meanwhile, my dad was bent over, flipping through his records, looking for the perfect one. I never had to wonder where I got that from.

He eventually landed on Tom Petty and set it in before taking a seat next to me on the couch.

“How’s my baby?” he asked, patting my knee.

His eyes were clear today. Not as great as Saturday at the race, but you could see he was more here than not, and I was grateful for that.

I chuckled. “You know I’m twenty-six, right? And married?”

Dad pulled his head back in surprise before looking me up and down and furrowing his brow. “What happened to my fifteen-year-old?”

“She grew up.” My chest shook a little. “And unfortunately had to take on responsibilities.”

“Bah.” Dad waved a hand. “Absurd. You’re still my baby.”

I smiled softly at him, not feeling like delving into that further. Maybe in his eyes I was always going to be a baby. It was probably that way for most parents. But nevertheless, this baby was in charge of taking care of him. And that meant death to my personal life so that I could take on the challenges of this new life. This life where I woke up at three a.m. in a cold sweat, wondering if he was all right. This life that had me growing gray hairs at twenty-three from the abundance of bills piling up.

Not that he needed to know about those things. He was happy. And as long as he was, I could take on the rest.

“Twenty-six,” he scoffed. “Man. I missed out on so much.”

I shook my head. “You didn’t miss out on a single moment. I’ve been here. I’ll always be here. I know as you get older, things become fuzzier. Everything is harder to remember, but I want you to know I remember everything. I remember the way you cared for me, the funny voices you took on when you read books to me, how gentle you were when I got in trouble. I remember how much you taught me and how loved you always made me feel.”

I sniffed, my vision turning blurry. “I’ll remember enough for the both of us.”

Dad lifted a hand to my cheek and patted twice. “I’m so lucky to have you as a daughter. You are just…so special to me.” I smiled softly, and his face shifted.

“But, my little Stevie, you can’t take everything on by yourself. Especially now that you’re married.” I avoided his gaze as he kept talking. “That Adam boy, he’s good. Real special too. You can’t carry all of this by yourself. Lean on him. He’ll help you. I know.”

My shoulders were shaking the more he went on. Here I was again, avoiding the topic just to get by. I sniffed again. “I don’t know. We’re…struggling.” That was the best I could muster.

Dad hummed. “Yeah, I would think so. Most new marriages do. But you two are good as gold. I see it in both of you.”

“You think?”

“I know. People like you two? The more it hurts, the more love there is. Uh-uh, don’t give me that look. I know your mom and I didn’t work out, but that’s different. We got married because she was pregnant and we felt forced to. This?” He pointed to my ring finger. “Is real. About as real as it gets, I’m sure. That man wanted to marry you long, long ago.”

I understood that Dad could easily be confused and could be pulling from false memories his brain had made up for him, but since it was exactly what I wanted to hear, I clung to it.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” He nodded. “He showed me the ring way before. I forgot about it after a while, but then he’d show up, remind me he was marrying you, and show it to me again. A bunch, actually. Took a while for me to really get it.”

“Adam…had the ring before Vegas?”