Page 87 of For the Record
My heart rate slowed back to a somewhat normal pace, and my shoulders relaxed. Layla. Thank God.
I ran to the door, even more grateful when I pulled it open.
Layla, Calla, and Marigold all stood there smiling at me, and I swore that at that sight alone, I was fully prepared to break down crying all over again.
“We thought you might need some company.” Layla smiled.
I sniffled and nodded, talking in the most wobbly I’m-def-about-to-cry-all-over-you-guys voice. “Please.”
“Oh, Rachel.” Marigold’s brows dipped sympathetically as she leaned in for a hug. Only her tummy got in the way, so we did more of a belly-bump than an actual embrace. She moved behind me, and Calla and Layla each hugged me too. That alone instantly made me feel better.
We all settled in around the couch. Calla opened a bottle of wine and handed us each a glass—except Marigold. She was drinking coconut water out of a wine glass so she could feel included.
“We were at Romfuzzled earlier, and Adam came in. I didn’t stay to hear the story, but he looked absolutely torn apart,” Marigold said with a sip of her drink.
Why didn’t that make me feel better? If I was upset with him, beyond upset, then I should’ve been over the moon at the thought of Adam Wells looking a mess. But deep down, my love for him outweighed my anger, even at this moment. That only made me angrier, because that made my heart a really inconsiderate turd.
“What happened?” Calla asked.
My shoulders slumped as I shared the story. Or at least as much of the story as I could. Wasn’t like I’d given him any time to explain.
“Let me get this straight. Adam basically bought the store for you before you guys were even actual friends?” Layla asked. All three of them were on the edge of their seats, staring at me in bewilderment.
“Well, not exactly.” I winced. This was the part that made me entirely hypocritical. I hated how much Adam had kept from me, but hadn’t I just done the same to them? In their eyes, Adam and I had gone from practically strangers to married in a single night. Then we’d stayed married for government benefits. I’d kept this huge secret from every single one of them. Not only that, but any time he came up, I purposefully changed the subject to avoid the talk at all costs.
My eyes started to tear up at the reminder of how wrong I’d been for the last few years. How awful of a friend that made me.
“I knew Adam before I met him through you guys.” I sucked in a breath and spat the rest of my explanation out like a podcast put on 2x speed. “We actually hooked up like almost four years ago, and then he came to the record store like a week later. I was going to ask him out, but Layla, you came in, and I realized you knew him through Luke. It immediately felt weird, so we agreed to not do anything about it. Then I got his number from your phone, and we started texting and hanging out without your family. We ignored our attraction for a while, which was really hard, ’cause that man is so fine—sorry, Calla. And then at Layla and Luke’s wedding, when I was supposed to go grab the touch-up bag, I met him in the hallway, and he kissed me. Like a lot. I knew it was because my boobs were all huge in that bridesmaid dress, but I didn’t want to tell anyone, because it was your night. Then in Vegas, we somehow ended up getting drunk and then at a chapel and things went from there and now—”
“Rachel.” Layla put a hand on my knee and leaned in. “Breathe, girl. It’s okay.”
My chest shook as tears were quickly falling down my face. “It’s not okay. I’ve been a really awful friend to all of you.”
All three girls started shaking their heads, each saying some form of “no, you aren’t” or “why would you think that?” But I shook my head back at them.
“I am. I haven’t been there for you guys in years. Not in the right way. I think, deep down, it’s because I felt so guilty about the whole Adam thing. But there wasn’t a good way to tell you guys.”
Marigold handed me a tissue and tried to sit by my feet. But then she groaned about her sciatica and sat on the couch.
I sniffled and continued. “Layla, I’m really sorry I made out with your new brother-in-law at your wedding.”
She laughed, but there was sadness behind it, like she was holding back her tears too.
“And I’m sorry I’ve lied to you guys. I just liked him a lot, and I thought it would make things weird here. And then we told my Dad, and now he calls me Mrs. Wells, and I can’t imagine how confused he would be if we get a divorce—”
“Divorce? Oh, Rach.” Calla scooted her butt closer to me, lifting a hand to twirl my hair. “Is that what you want?”
When I thought about it, truly considered it, no. Not at all. These last few months had been some of the best in my life, and I could only contribute that to Adam. Getting a divorce would be taking all of those things away from me, physically and mentally. But I was just so…mad. I felt played and wronged in every type of way. And I still couldn’t wrap my brain around why. Why, why, why?
“No. Not really,” I said honestly. “But if he doesn’t actually love me, then what other choice do I have?”
Layla snorted on the other side of me. “You think that man doesn’t love you?”
“No. Not when he lied to me for so long. I don’t know how he could.”
They stayed quiet, clearly disagreeing with me, but I still felt in my bones that it was wrong. I was mad, but mostly sad, and I wanted to cling to old memories that now felt meaningless. It sucked.
“I think,” Calla slowly started. “He had good intentions. I mean, the man sold his partnership with Romfuzzled to buy it. For you. I just think he went about it the wrong way. Maybe if you guys could sit down and talk, he could explain.”