Page 42 of Impossible Rapids
“Why have you been hugging her?” he demanded. Not quite ready to let the jealousy go.
Hays chuckled again, rubbing at his jaw. “Because I’m her friend and she’s all alone. She’s grieving for Mercedes and longing for you. The two of you have been close, but as soon as Mercedes died, you put up this wall between you and stayed away.”
“I had to,” he admitted quietly. “I’m afraid if I get close, I won’t be able to resist her.”
“How long do you have to resist her?”
“It’s bigger than us,” Shawn muttered. “Maybe someday.”
“This is about you being a billionaire now and keeping up appearances for the sake of the Belle family fortune and what the media think your ‘mourning period’ should be?” Hays sounded angry now, truly fired up like Hays rarely got. “Money and power ruined the woman I loved and any miniscule chance we had to be together. When I got to know Mercedes and Franz, I was stunned that they could be wealthy, genuine, and kind. But you’re going to let the money ruin your chances with Julie?”
“It’s not about the money, but it’s only been five weeks. That’s too quick.” Shawn wanted to explain, but he’d promised not to. “Most importantly, it’s about keeping Julie safe. I won’t let her be a target.” If only he was the kind of friend who could get Hays to open up about the woman he loved. He had no idea what questions to ask to help, and he wasn’t sharing his darkest secrets either.
Hays studied him. “I’m not saying you have to shout that you love Julie to the world. I understand you’re under a lot of pressure to protect Franz, Julie, and the Belle legacy. But why can’t you share with Julie what’s in your heart? Give her hope? Plan for the future in private, even if you have to play for the public eye for a while longer?”
Shawn’s own hopes took off like his new black Bugatti Chiron Super Sport with the accelerator pinned to the floor, but they dropped just as quick.
“If I let her know how deeply I love her,” he ground out, “it would be like the Hoover Dam breaking. I wouldn’t be able to hide it any longer and I’d put a target on her back. Lucas and Arianna or anybody else who’s after my money wouldn’t hesitate to use her to manipulate me.”
“I understand,” Hays said after a short pause.
“You do?” He squinted at his friend in the dark.
“I loved that deeply once.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” At least he could try.
“I’d rather have you and the other guys in camp pin me down and rip my fingernails off.” Hays’s voice had a tinge of humor in it, but it was mostly cold and serious. He didn’t hear that out of Hays often.
“Forget I offered,” Shawn said.
“Done.” Hays tilted his chin up to him and strode back out of the forest. “Don’t make her wait too long.”
Shawn followed him. He exited behind Hays and far too close to Julie’s tent. What if he just stopped, asked her to talk, and held her close? As a friend, of course.
No. If the floodgates opened, it would all come rushing out and ruin everything in its path, most importantly Julie. He angled away from her tent and for the low-burning fire.
Brylee must’ve gone to their tent, but Cash was waiting for him. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Just chatting with Hays.”
“Is he disappointed we haven’t even needed them?” Cash smiled.
“Probably.” Shawn hadn’t even thought about it. Franz was doing great in Augustine and the most dangerous thing that had happened in the past three days was Julie getting dunked in the river.
“Do you want to do the interview quick so we can head to bed?”
“Sure.” Shawn realized that Cash heading to bed was extremely different than him. Cash had snuggling his wife all night long to look forward to. Shawn had … nothing and no one. But Hays thought Julie loved him. Could it be true? Would she wait until he, Franz, and Lawyer Wallace got the judge to sign off on everything and determined there was no reason he couldn’t be with Julie? That sounded like a nightmare to somehow ask her while not telling her about his true relationship with Mercedes. She’d think he was betraying her best friend.
“Okay. The cameras are rolling, so I guess we just start.” Cash rolled his eyes, and Shawn was grateful he didn’t enjoy this any more than Shawn did.
He could imagine Mercedes had put him and Julie on this show together hoping they’d profess their love for each other. He couldn’t do that. Mercedes was a happy light, a free spirit, but she never worried about how things got done. She came up with the impetuous, generous, or fun idea, and Julie and Shawn implemented what Mercedes wanted. She’d never acted spoiled and they’d all done her bidding because they adored her, but Mercedes thinking he and Julie could be together was naïve and not seeing the bigger picture.
“How did you feel about the day?” Cash asked.
“Fine.” Shawn should probably elaborate. Mercedes would be annoyed with him. “It terrified me when Julie went under during The Falls rapids. Thanks for taking the captain seat for me so I could go for her.”
“No problem. It was impressive. The Viking Warrior. You’re as good in the water as you are manning the boat.”