Page 46 of Impossible Rapids
“Shawn?” She inched a bit closer on the sleeping bag and it thankfully didn’t make an embarrassing squeak.
“Yes, Jules?”
The steady rush of the river gave her courage, knowing that only Shawn would hear. “When I was teasing you about being Thor and you called me un-nasty, you meant the opposite of nasty, right?”
Shawn chuckled softly and stretched his hand above her head, his fingertips trailing gently along her scalp and making her tingle.
“Not un-nasty. It’s unnasti.” The smooth lilt to his voice made her nerves pulse.
“What does that mean?” She’d looked up the meaning, but no way was she admitting it to him. It could be possible her Google had it all wrong, though Google rarely failed her.
The air became thick and heated. Shawn ever so gently cupped her head with one hand and slid his other hand and arm along her shoulders, pulling her close, as if he was going to admit a secret.
“Unnasti,” he murmured, “means ‘lover’ in Viking Norse.”
Julie sucked in a loud breath, stunned he’d admitted it. She boldly brought the hand that was trapped between them up to his stubbled jawline. She rested her other hand on his firm waistline. She’d never felt anything as thrilling as touching and being touched by Shawn.
“Do you mean that?” she asked into the expectant silence.
“Ah, Jules.” Shawn wrapped his other arm around her waist and lower back and pulled her flush against him. Julie could hardly catch a breath. “Unnasti,” he murmured against her lips, and then he tenderly kissed her.
He kissed her as if she were delicate, breakable, and the most important person in this world to him.
Julie savored the sweet, lingering movements of his enticing lips. She’d longed for his kiss for years. The connection and thrill blew all her dreams away.
She threw caution to the wind and returned the kiss with all the yearning that had been building inside her since she first shook Shawn Holister’s hand three years ago and crushed on him stronger than she’d ever crushed on a teenage boy on up to adulthood.
If Shawn was surprised by her intense reaction, he didn’t show it. He matched her ardor and kissed her like she had never been kissed. The exchange was full of pure love, devotion, and a beautiful passion that lit her up like a bright lantern in a dark campsite.
He slowed the kisses down to a lingering, drugging pressure before pulling back slightly and saying in a gravelly but reverent tone of voice, “Unnasti.”
Her heart raced out of control. What could she say back to equal that measure of sweet love?
“Ah, Jules …,” Shawn whispered huskily. “I want to show you all I mean when I say unnasti.”
She fought to catch her breath and clear her brain from the delightful bubble of pleasure she’d been lost in for the past who knew how many minutes. “What’s stopping you?” she managed to ask.
She felt like an idiot the moment she said that. His generous, wonderful, beautiful, and recently deceased wife Mercedes was stopping him from ‘showing her what he meant’. He probably felt like he was cheating on Mercedes by kissing Julie so beautifully, holding her like she was his ‘unnasti,’ his ‘lover.’ But he didn’t pull away and she couldn’t force herself to pull away either.
“So many things,” he said, his words a whisper of warmth across her lips. “Most importantly, your safety and showing you that I’m genuine, loyal, and would never betray the woman I’m committed to, body and soul.”
His words were chilling. “Safety? Tonight?” If he wouldn’t betray the woman he was committed to, what was he doing kissing her? Mercedes was the woman he was genuine and loyal to.
“Not just tonight. If Lucas and Arianna caught wind of how I felt about you, they’d use it against Franz and me, try to prove that my marriage to Mercedes wasn’t legitimate, that I didn’t love her romantically, that we didn’t consummate the marriage.”
Julie felt lightheaded. “Shawn …” Could Hays be right and Shawn only had brotherly feelings for Mercedes? Did he mean Julie when he talked about the woman he was committed to? Did she dare hope that? “You didn’t marry Mercedes for the money.”
“No.” He half-laughed as if that were a joke.
“And you loved her?”
“Of course I loved her. I still do.”
Julie felt sick inside. Of course he loved his wife. “I’m sorry,” she managed, yanking away from his touch, her back running into the side of the tent and the rock wall beyond that. “I should never have kissed you. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” Shawn muttered. “Because of …?”
“You loved Mercedes. You still do. I can’t come between you. I feel … awful. I’m so sorry.” He should be the one who was sorry. He’d pledged himself to Mercedes. Had he kissed Mercedes like that? Of course he had. Probably more intensely. He’d married Mercedes.