Page 65 of Old Girls on Deck

‘We’re not too old to frolic, are we?’ Diana said quietly.

‘There’s no law against it. Although my dodgy knee might hamper things a bit.’

‘Yes, but are we too old?’ she repeated.

She didn’t seem able to meet my eye.

I wondered what was going on in her head. Was she more taken with Raphaël than she was letting on? What would I do if I were in her position?

‘For what? Frolicking? I don’t remember being told there was a cut-off date, do you?’

Diana blushed. ‘No. I just wondered.’

Hmm. I watched my sister as she pulled the gherkin slices out of her burger and arranged them neatly on the side of her plate. Diana was evidently in a mood to chat. I would have to take it slowly so as not to put her off.

I put my half-eaten burger down and dabbed at my mouth.

‘I think frolicking is a good thing and I don’t care what the younger generation think. But I have realised recently that there is a cut-off date for worrying what other people think of us. Perhaps when one is forty, people are surprised to see us messing about and being silly, but these days at sixty and seventy we have the excuse of old age. They don’t expect us to know any better.’

‘I didn’t mess about when I was in my forties or fifties. In fact, I look back now and wonder what I did do. Endless housework, travelling, packing and unpacking suitcases. I was thinking back to when we were kids. Mum never wore trousers did she, and she wore a full-length slip every day,’ Diana said, ‘and although she used to daydream about Alan Whicker carrying her off in his Rolls Royce, I don’t think she ever looked at any man other than Dad. And they were married for nearly fifty years.’

‘Do you think they had a happy marriage,’ I said.

Diana took a bite of her burger and looked thoughtful.

‘Actually, do you know, I don’t think they did. It was just the way things were.’

‘Did you have a happy marriage?’

There was a long pause while Diana fiddled with the cutlery on the table and moved the salt and pepper around like chess pieces.

‘Fairly,’ she said at last. ‘It was okay as long as things were done Casper’s way. I think today people would say he was controlling. But of course, now that he’s gone, it sounds mean to say anything other than what a great husband and father he was. Look at the people on this ship. No one has a bad word to say about him, but I know the truth. Shall I tell you the most surprising thing about that evening with Raphaël?’

Aha! She had brought up the subject, not me.

‘If you like,’ I said, trying not to sound too eager.

‘We didn’t talk about him all the time. He asked me things about myself and listened to what I said. And he didn’t try and explain anything. Or argue I was wrong. I was thinking about it a lot afterwards, and I realised we were just having a normal conversation. And we made each other laugh.’

‘So, that’s unusual?’

‘Casper didn’t laugh at the same things I did. He had a sort of custard-pie sense of humour. I suppose it’s all those years of watching people getting thrown into the pool on the ship. He hated costume dramas or anything sentimental. I had to binge watch things like Downton and Pride and Prejudice when he was away.’ Diana paused and looked at me, doubt in her eyes. ‘Oh dear, am I being very disloyal?’

‘I don’t think so. It can’t have been easy taking the place of an entire ship’s crew doing his bidding. That didn’t leave much room for you, I’m guessing.’

Diana looked away. ‘I thought all men were like that. In all the years we were married I don’t think we ever had a proper argument.’

I laughed. ‘Eddy and I have had some humdingers over the years, and I don’t mind that. It clears the air. Let’s just say he never bought me a domestic appliance as a birthday present ever again.’

Diana laughed and took a bite of her burger, looking thoughtful for a few minutes.

‘Would you say you and Eddy were happy? Are happy?’

I shrugged. We had been together for so long that it was a while since I had even thought about it. But I was surprised how much I was missing him and I did know I would be lost without him.

‘Yes, I think we are. I mean the first flush of romance doesn’t last, does it? I don’t know any couple where it hasn’t gone off the boil at some point. In fact, the pair who seemed the most demonstrative were you and Casper. And sometimes I used to envy that. He was always so smart and well mannered. Fetching coasters for the drinks and handing round nibbles. Topping up wine glasses and calling you darling all the time. When we were at home Eddy would sprawl on the sofa in his dressing gown, and spill crumbs all over the floor. No wonder the dog loved him so much. Do you know, he had a favourite trick – he’d say, “have you seen the urgent note I’ve put on the fridge door?” and of course like a muppet I’d go and look. And there never was a note, but he’d shout, “while you’re there will you get me a beer?”’

‘Oh, there’s Evelyn,’ Diana said, spluttering with laughter, ‘shall we ask her to join us?’