Page 66 of Old Girls on Deck
We both turned and waved at her as the waiter escorted her to her usual table near ours.
‘Hello both,’ she said brightly. ‘Join you? Well, I’d be delighted. That’s no problem is it, Hector?’
Hector agreed it wasn’t and he quickly set a place for her between us.
‘Just a Caesar salad and some of that lovely poppy seed bread,’ she said. ‘Now then, how are you both? What are you talking about?’
‘Frolicking,’ I said.
‘Oooh, Douglas and I used to love a good frolic,’ Evelyn said, her eyes brightening. ‘I remember one time, many years ago, Douglas and I were at a conference, in a glorious hotel in New Hampshire. There were delegations from all over the world, talking about money of course. And Douglas and I had an unexpected free afternoon, and when we got back to our room, he confessed he’d taken a pair of handcuffs from one of the security detail and why didn’t we give it a go. So, we did, and then – rather too late – he realised he hadn’t thought to also take the key to unlock himself. And I was laughing so much I thought I would be sick. So, I threw open the French doors onto the balcony outside our room and went to catch my breath. Well, below me the entire Russian delegation were there in the garden drinking champagne. Russians love champagne. And as a man they all turned to raise their glasses to me and I realised I was only wearing some feathered mules and a very risqué negligee.’
‘Oh my God, what did you do?’ Diana breathed.
Evelyn pulled a face. ‘I had to get dressed PDQ and go and find one of the security team. But Douglas couldn’t remember if it was someone called Chet or Chuck so I had to ask around for a bit, and all the time poor Douglas was shall we say, uncomfortably restrained. Anyway, eventually I got hold of the key and sorted it out, but for the rest of the time we were there, the Russians kept sending over bottles of champagne to our table. Heaven knows what their bill was because it was Dom Perignon. And every time he got up to speak in meetings, they would roar their approval and applaud him. And of course, no one but me knew why. The rest of the British delegation were very confused, but a couple of years later he got this particular trade deal done with them when no one had expected he would. I think that’s why he got his knighthood. We did laugh. Anyway, enough about me, how was your date with the handsome photographer?’ Evelyn said, a wicked glint in her eye.
Diana mopped at her tears of laughter from Evelyn’s tale.
‘We had a nice time, but I don’t think it was a date.’
Well, I wasn’t having that.
‘She said some inappropriate things, spilled food down herself and kissed him.’
Diana’s eyes widened in alarm. ‘Jill!’
‘Well, that sounds fine to me, and let me tell you, I’ve had worse dates than that in my time,’ Evelyn said. ‘So when are you seeing him again?’
‘He’s supposed to be taking pictures of us, so I expect very soon,’ Diana said.
‘Good. Don’t let the grass grow. I have spent a lovely morning in the spa. Gisele told me I have the complexion of a much younger women. I hope she doesn’t want it back. I do love being fussed about with and pampered, and all the expensive potions seem to smell so wonderful.’
‘It’s a long time since I did anything like that,’ Diana said, ‘probably over five years.’
‘We must do it,’ I said.
‘There’s a beautiful Dutch girl called Anouk who works in the spa, she’s really good at massage. Face of an angel and the hands of an all-in wrestler. And then for anyone in need of a haircut…’ Evelyn paused for a moment and sent Diana a meaningful look, ‘ask for Jeannie. She’s a wizard with the scissors. They will try and tell you she’s fully booked, but mention my name and she will fit you in. And as for manicures, there’s no one better than Clara. I think she’s Belgian. Like Hercule Poirot and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Ah, here’s my salad.’
‘You really do know everyone don’t you?’ I said. ‘What on earth will you do when you leave the ship?’
‘I’ll go home and plan what to do next,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I shall spend some time with Wendy and Bill in Australia and then after that I like the idea of visiting on old school friend in California. Vida lives in the Napa Valley with her husband, Jericho, don’t Americans have the most marvellous names? Their family produces wine. She’s eighty-four so I’d better hurry up. I’ve been to so many funerals in the last few years. It could get very depressing, but that’s what comes when you get to my age. People keep dropping off the perch. There must be a marvellous party going on up there, that’s how I like to think of it. Getting old is a funny business. Inside I’m still the same enthusiastic child, wanting a pony or a new dress. But I’m trapped in a body that is basically a crumbling ruin. New hip, wonky knees, I’m not so steady on my pins as I used to be, two different sorts of glasses. It’s very annoying. So what about you two? What will you do when all this is over?’
‘I’m going to go home, appreciate my new patio and talk Eddy into some more adventures. Well, some adventures anyway. He used to be quite a wild one in his youth, but I think we have both sunk into middle age and taken each other for granted,’ I said, ‘and you’ve inspired me.’
‘Good, I’m glad to hear it. You may have twenty years to fill, maybe more if you avoid extreme sports and undercooked shellfish. When you get on the plane to America, remember my tip, give the cabin crew a little present, like I said. They love that,’ Evelyn said, grinding black pepper onto her salad. ‘Douglas and I used to stay in a hotel near Heathrow sometimes, and there used to be scores of cabin crew staying there. They were always so nice, beautifully turned out and they put up with a lot of bad behaviour. What about you, Diana? You’re suddenly very quiet.’
Diana looked up and I was surprised to see tears in her eyes.
‘I’m going to go and see my son,’ she said, ‘and try to make up for all the months when I was away. All the sports days and school events I missed. And then I’m going to see if I can help with the wedding plans, and then – I think I might write that book. Several people have asked me about it.’
‘Marvellous!’ Evelyn said, slapping one hand down on the table so all the cutlery rattled. ‘What fun you’re going to have.’
‘Yes,’ Diana said thoughtfully. ‘I realise that after Casper died, I never found the time to be happy because I was too busy being strong, and pretending I was coping. But I think I am going to have fun. At last.’
I sighed, happy to hear this. Thinking about my life with Eddy, I could see we had a predictable routine most of the time, but we still did laugh a lot. We did have fun without having to plan it.
‘And I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about your talk, everyone enjoyed it so much. I certainly did. You really should write that book you know,’ Evelyn said, ‘even if the names are changed to protect the guilty. Make it fiction, it would be hilarious.’
‘That’s exactly what I’ve said in the past,’ I said, while Diana looked thoughtful.