Page 30 of Becoming

“He didn’t know about that, Cassidy. I never said anything. Not until that night, and then it was only because there was no way for me to hide it from him. Not after what she did to me. It’s why he agreed to help me and wrote in the report that I had called him, but he was unable to resuscitate Samantha when he arrived.”

Cassidy shook her head. “But that’s all true from what you’re telling me. She overdosed, you called him, she was already gone. Clear case.”

Rebecca tilted her head, eyeing Cassidy. “Are you a lawyer?”

Cassidy’s chuckle was a much-needed sound after the conversation they were having. “No, but my dad is. I’ve listened to him discuss cases enough to know the basics.”

“I see. And, what do you do?” Rebecca asked, hoping to veer the conversation in a different direction.

Cassidy’s eyebrow flinched, and Rebecca suspected Cassidy saw right through her little ruse.

“We can discuss that later. We were talking about you.”

Though the thought of spending more time with Cassidy was tempting, Rebecca became weary of discussing more of her problems. Surely, they would be too much at some point. “Aren’t you tired of hearing my problems?”

“I could never be tired of you.”

Cassidy continued to surprise Rebecca. “I don’t know about that, Cassidy. I’m pretty boring behind the mask.”

Cassidy leaned closer. “You took the mask off for me. There was nothing boring about you, Rebecca. Or do you not remember our time together?”

Rebecca closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Every single second of their time together was burned into her brain. Her body could never forget the things Cassidy did. The memory of that brought tears to her eyes.

“I remember.”

THE CONVERSATION SHIFTED back to the club, and Rebecca explained to Cassidy how she came to own it. It was almost funny how, looking back, she could see all of the mistakes she made. And, how she fought to correct those mistakes in the years that followed. Perhaps it was a bit extreme to hide her true identity from those who worked for her. Or to vet the patrons of her club so diligently. However, when you come close to losing your life to someone you thought you could trust, trust becomes a rare commodity.

“Why, Rebecca? Why did you stay?” Cassidy asked after Rebecca alluded to being beaten after Samantha found out she had bought the club. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Rebecca interrupted. “It’s a legitimate question. I obviously had the means,” she shrugged. It was a question she knew would come eventually. One she had asked herself many times. One she didn’t know if she actually had an answer to.

“You loved her.”

Rebecca laughed joylessly. “No. I hated her. At least I did at the end. If anything, I was infatuated with her at the most. Her strength and control intrigued me. She introduced me to this lifestyle and I became addicted. It wasn’t bad in the beginning, Cassidy.”

“And when it turned bad?”

“By that point, she had it ingrained in my head that it was my duty as her Sub to do as she commands. Like I said before, I was so naïve and impressionable that she convinced me what she did to me was normal for those who practice this type of relationship. I hate to use that as an excuse, but I really didn’t know that her version of this way of life was extreme. I know that’s probably hard for you to understand.”

“Not really. I did things with you I never thought I would do without questioning it.”

Rebecca frowned. “That’s exactly what I wanted to avoid when I took over the club.”

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way, Rebecca,” Cassidy said quickly. “You’re nothing like her.”

I hope that’s true. “I never want to be,” she said softly. “The moment she took her last breath I stopped being a Sub. Unfortunately, that also meant I was lost. It took the staff fighting over who should take control of the club that snapped me out of it. I took over the club, fired everyone, exhaustively vetted a new staff, and donned the mask.”

“And became Mistress?”

“Yes. Even my staff knows me only as Mistress. They don’t know Rebecca. I needed my control back, and that was the start. Becoming a true Dom was the next.” Rebecca glanced at Cassidy, debating her next words. “Every person I brought into that room was carefully selected in order to build myself up. I know that sounds callous, but I made sure that they all left feeling that everything they did in that room was their decision.”

“Is it normal for a Sub to become a Dom?” Cassidy asked, sounding a bit dejected.

“For some. Some are very set in their roles. Others use the experience as a stepping stone.” She tilted her head again, and her eyebrows furrowed. Why are you so sad, Cassidy? Do you really want to be a Dom? How could I ever go back to being a Sub?

“Why me?”

She let out a sharp laugh. “Believe me, Cassidy, I tried to stay away from you.” The defeat she heard in Cassidy’s voice now showed on her face. Without much thought, she softly touched the back of Cassidy’s hand. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Before you walked into my club, I had decided I was done. I was getting nothing from it anymore. In fact, there hadn’t been anyone in my room for months.”