Page 54 of Becoming
“I’m sorry, Aunt Wills. I don’t mean to be so stubborn, I’m just…”
“Born that way?” Willamena joked, causing Rebecca to laugh. “I see this as a breakthrough because you’ve been very closed off for many years. When you talk to me about the past, you tend to do it without much emotion. Cassidy is good for you, Rebecca. The way she allows you to be you, and I’m assuming to be Mistress when you need to be, has given you the strength you thought you had by being alone. You’ve always been strong, Becca. But you doubted yourself. Even becoming Mistress, you doubted. I think Cassidy has given you the love that you need—that you deserve—and you’re finally learning to be the real you.”
“That gives her a lot of power over me,” Rebecca stated softly. As much as she loved Cassidy, she never wanted to lose control over herself again.
“On the contrary. You both hold the power. There’s no need for a struggle. Just honesty. If you explain to Cassidy what’s going on with your body, Rebecca, she will understand. Maybe she’ll be confused at first, but that’s why communication is so important. It can’t be about the physical all the time.”
“Hmm.” What a conversation that’s going to be. “You know, you should stick with this psychiatry thing. I think you could be successful at it,” Rebecca teased. Her aunt, as a well-respected, often published doctor, was extremely successful in her profession.
“I always say, not bad for someone who got their degree out of a Cracker Jack box.”
“I never get anything but stickers,” Rebecca muttered playfully. “Thank you, by the way.”
“It’s my job. And, my pleasure,” Willamena said with a smile. “Feeling better?”
“I will after I figure out how to bring this up to my girlfriend.”
“Would you like me to be there with you? Via Skype, of course.”
“Absolutely not. Having my aunt listening in on an already awkward conversation would not be good. However, if she needs to talk to you, could she?”
“Of course.”
“HEY, BABE?” CASS tossed her keys on the table next to the front door. “I’m sorry I’m late!”
She hopped on one foot as she struggled with taking off her paint-stained boot. They had finally secured dinner plans with Hunter, Patty, and Mo, and Cass had been filled with nerves all day. To make things worse, she ran into problems with her mural, hit traffic on her way home, and her phone was dead. With the mood Rebecca had been in the past few days, Cass just knew she was in big trouble.
“Babe?” Cass called out again, this time with a little more trepidation. Normally, being a bit late wouldn’t have caused her so much stress. But, obviously, she had already done something to annoy her girlfriend and this was just going to add to it. Unfortunately, she had no idea what she did that has been bothering Rebecca and that worried her. Was Rebecca thinking of leaving again? Had Cass gone too far by confessing her love the other night? Nah. No way Cass would believe that. Especially since Rebecca had said it back and the sex afterward was fucking awesome.
So, what else could it have been that was making Rebecca angry? Cass shook her head at her thoughts. No, angry wasn’t the right word. Irritable. It hadn’t affected their sex life (thankfully). In fact, Rebecca had been a bit more aggressive, much to Cass’s delight. Sadly, every other aspect of their lives had been a little stressful, which meant Cass never found the right time to tell Rebecca about Hunter’s opinion about Samantha’s death. Cass was doing all she could to alleviate the tension. No way she was going to bring up the bitch. She’d wait until she could decipher the problem and fix it.
“In the closet.” Rebecca’s sweet voice came from behind a half-closed door.
“Since when?” Cass joked, hoping to ease any tension. She walked into the good-sized closet to find a topless Rebecca flipping through her clothes. As usual, the sight floored Cass. For more reasons than just the obvious beauty of the woman before her.
“Ha-ha. I tried calling you.”
“I know, babe, I’m sorry. My phone is shit.” She brought it out and showed Rebecca the complete deadness of the thing. “Forgot my damn charger.”
“You’re late,” Rebecca said softly. Since she still hadn’t gotten the nerve to talk to Cassidy about her needs, she had been trying to keep her irritability to a minimum. She hadn’t exactly been successful—most notably in bed which worried her—so, when Cassidy decided to be late today of all days it only exacerbated the situation. She was nervous enough about her friends meeting the love of her life. Not that she thought they wouldn’t like Cassidy, but there would be no hiding the age difference. That was one hurdle Rebecca had been wary of.
“I’m really sorry, Rebecca,” Cass repeated. “Had a mishap at the site and the deadline was today. Not too difficult of a fix, just took me a little longer. Then, of course, the damn traffic.”
Rebecca turned around to face her girlfriend. “So, it’s not because you’re dreading tonight?”
“What? No! I’m not dreading tonight, babe. I may be a little nervous meeting your friends, but definitely not dreading it.” Cass pulled Rebecca into her arms. “I’m ready to announce my love for you to the world.”
Rebecca smiled. “Me, too. But, first, you need to take a shower and get ready.” She stood on her tip-toes, kissed Cassidy tenderly on the lips, then turned back to her clothes to find something that wouldn’t make her look old. And something that wouldn’t make her look like she was trying too hard to be young. Her entire body stiffened when she felt a faint fingertip on one of the many scars on her back.
Cass felt Rebecca go rigid at her touch and sighed silently. She leaned down and kissed one of the marks gently. In the months they have been together, Rebecca never once spoke about the scars. And, until now, Cass had never done anything to bring attention to them.
“I always hoped you didn’t notice them,” Rebecca whispered.
“I noticed that first night you stayed with me,” Cass replied just as quietly. “But I wanted to wait for you to be ready to talk to me about them.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.”
Cass feathered her hands up Rebecca’s arms and placed them on Rebecca’s shoulders. She squeezed them lightly before backing away. She was disappointed, but she understood. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what Rebecca had gone through.