Page 45 of Stolen
“We’re not falling for that trap, Blossom,” SynTanner waved her off.
“He’s got another woman there! She’s one of my clients too! He’s going to kill her if we don’t show up!” That drew SynTanner’s gaze.
“And if we call the cops, he’ll weasel his way out of it. He basically bragged to me about it. There’s nothing we can do but to just go there and duke it out however we need to!”
“Nothing about this is going to turn out good Blossom,” SynTanner said lowly.
“Well, we have no other choice,” she whispered. “I can’t let an innocent woman die for me. I say we go and play his game. That’s the only way to win against a man like this and you know I’m right,” Blossom said.
“I suppose you are,” he grunted. He cleaned up the gauze and bandage wrappers before standing.
“You just rest buddy,” SynTanner patter Ryder on the knee. Ryder could only nod, his eyes already closed.
In the hall SynTanner closed the bedroom door. He leaned against the wall and looked at Blossom.
“Are you okay?” Blossom whispered. SynTanner shook his head. He sunk to the ground, holding his temples. Blossom went right down with him, settling in between his legs.
“I heard your scream. The terror in your voice—the sound of violence all around you—” he squeezed his temples.
“Helplessness. I think I figured that part out. Whenever I feel helpless. My trauma is triggered. I see the people in my past that I couldn’t help before. I see all their pain that I could have stopped and wasn’t able to. My therapist kept asking me, ‘SynTanner, why do you feel responsible? The lives of the people whose affecting you at this very moment were taken by people they mistakenly put their trust in. That is not your fault. So why do you take the blame.’ He asks me this every session. And every session I didn’t know the answer. I just kept saying, it was my job to protect them. That I pledged an oath. An officer takes responsibility for the citizen’s he sworn in to protect. Then, my therapist will always give me a look and tell me that I have it all wrong. The fucker obviously knew the answer to the question, the answers that I was supposed to somehow figure it out. And then you called me. I could swear I was going to lose you. The panic in your voice, the desperateness that I knew you felt because I wasn’t there to help you; it made me lock up. And then the images started. I saw the blood, the gore, the pain, if it wasn’t bad enough, my brain began to input all those scenes of death and include your precious face. I was twenty minutes away yet I felt as if I was hours away. I forced myself on my bike and I kept shouting that I refuse to make you feel helpless. I refuse to lose you when I could save you. Riding as fast as I could, I reflected on the fact that it wasn’t just you that was helpless. It was me. Because no matter how fast I rode, no matter if I could bend space and time, I just couldn’t get to you fast enough. That feeling of not being able to reach you reminded me exactly why I blamed myself for the death of others I needed to protect. I just couldn’t get to them.” Blossom snuggled closer to him.
SynTanner finally took his hands away from his temple and pulled Blossom into his body. He kissed her forehead then made his way to her lips, pecking her with emergency as if he had to taste her before he lost his mind completely.
“I don’t know how not to feel helpless, Blossom. Does this mean that I’ll never conquer this? That every time I get the feeling that I can’t help someone, or that you’re in danger I’ll be triggered by those awful memories? That I will become useless?!” he asked wildly.
“I’m a cop for fucks sake! Why am I so fucking pathetic?” he whispered.
“SynTanner—don’t say that!” Blossom exclaimed. He didn’t even look at her. He held his head down in defeat. Blossom refused to let him go down like that.
“SynTanner, you look at me right now,” Blossom ordered. He didn’t look up at her.
“Deputy Chief SynTanner I am talking to you!” SynTanner finally snapped his head up and looked at her.
“Physically being there when someone is in trouble isn’t the only way to save them! Yes, you’re a cop but brute strength and wielding a gun doesn’t make you a protector. Your heart does. Your ability to strategize does. Your ability to comfort, does. You understand what I’m saying?” Blossom asked.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled.
“If you didn’t tell me to jump out of that window, where do you think I would be right now?” Blossom asked him.
“Probably knocked the fuck out from Jon, because he was determined to lay his hands on me. Without your encouragement I could have just sat there in the room, trying to hide and scared for my life. Hearing your voice, the urgency you had, it kicked me into gear. Don’t you realize what you’re doing SynTanner. You knew you have PTSD. You know that at any moment you could be triggered, be labeled as weak because you can’t help the horror your mind falls back into. Yet still, you’re willing to go into this battle with me. And not once have you backed down. Even while you panicked and froze on the phone, I didn’t hear it in your voice. Even when my building got shop up, you ran through bullets and came for me. You fought whatever game your mind was playing. You will conquer your PTSD SynTanner. But don’t you for one second think that you’re a helpless man. You always find a way to overcome. And it doesn’t matter if you’re with me or if I can just simply hear your voice, that is enough to allow me to feel protected and encourage me to fight.” She held his chin and looked directly at him.
“Remember what you told me earlier? That you’re a nice guy, but you spank?” Blossom asked him. SynTanner smirked slightly and nodded.
“Well I’m a nice woman too. And I won’t allow a good man to fall victim to pain and sorrow, or to wallow under the false pretenses that he’s weak. You ever second guess yourself again SynTanner, and I’m gonna be doing the spanking,” she warned. SynTanner just looked at her.
“Do you seriously think I would ever make you spank me?” he asked her. Blossom laughed.
“No, but it was worth a try to sound tough,” she giggled.
“You’re just too damned adorable I can’t tease you for that whack shit you just said,” he laughed. Blossom punched him playfully.
“I’m vicious, I tell you!” she wagged her fist. SynTanner wrapped his arms around her.
“Blossom. Will you be mine? When all this is over? Me and you? We can be a real couple. I can be gruff most of the time, I’m always buried in my work, I get agitated easily when I feel like I can’t solve a crime, and I have a momma that will drive you insane most days. But I’m a faithful man, unafraid of commitment. I’ll wake you up with kisses and tell you how much you mean to me. I’ll protect and provide you with whatever you need to be happy. And at the rate I’m falling for you right now, I have no doubt that I can love you with all of my heart. I can take you on dates. Pamper you. And I can be there for you, mentally, emotionally, physically. And all I need is for you to say that I can have you.”
“Oh Tanner, you already have me,” she whispered happily. He squeezed her tight, sealing their proclamation with a soul snatching kiss.