Page 98 of I Love My Mistake

Some things are simply unfigureoutable. That is so not a real word. Who cares? It should be one. It should be in the Urban Dictionary with ‘this sucks big donkey balls’ as part of the definition. Because it does. (I wonder if I know any writers who could put it in there?)

Just accept it, they’re meant for each other. I repeat this to myself until it no longer sounds like words. And soon I halt in the middle of the sidewalk, nearly causing the person who was walking behind me to slam into me.

“Hey!”

“You shouldn’t have been following so close.”

“Screw you.”

“You first.”

She walks on, throwing another scathing glance at me and spitting on the sidewalk as so many New Yorkers do.

If I knew Nicole was supposed to be with Mark and not Michael, then why didn’t I scream and bang on that stupid cab and make her get out of it! She’s going to fuck that guy. I have to stop her. Where is my phone? I’ve got so much stuff in this bag, it’s gotta be in here somewhere. Got it. Tapping my feet, standing off to the side, next to a building, I hear it ring after ring. “C’mon Nicole, Answer!”