Page 26 of Twisted Heathens
“Chosen a focus yet?”
I shrug, dodging the question. “Not quite.”
Kade seems to ponder this, running a hand through his messy hair.
“Are you okay?” I blurt. Where the hell did that come from?
“Me? Oh, sure. I’m good,” he mutters, the response pretty lack-lustre. “Just some stuff going on. You know how it is.”
“Sure, whatever.” Why am I even standing here?
Kade clears his throat. “Nix said that you enjoyed history?”
He’s fishing, scrambling to change conversation. I don’t suppose I should reveal that I only enjoyed it because I’d been fooling around with his best friend beforehand, without whom I would have fallen into a complete breakdown.
“It was okay. I don’t mind it.”
He nods absently, studying his watch. “Well, you’ll need to make a decision by tomorrow. Just let me know, I can take care of the paperwork for you.”
“Uh, okay. Thanks.”
His fingers tap the desk for a moment, eyes flicking over me. I swallow, standing my ground. There’s this feeling between us, like I should be saying more. What does he want from me? Does he just trail around after all the strays in this place?
“Right, I’ll be going then. See you.”
Kade turns to leave, his shoulders slumped. I feel guilty, but this is for his own good. The more people I interact with, the more they will be affected by my death. I don’t want to be remembered. Written off, my files shredded; that’s the aim. People always harp on about not being another statistic but I can’t wait until my life is reduced to nothing more than a number. Then I’ll be free.
“Unless you want to get lunch together?”
Kade hangs in the doorway, peering at me through those sexy specs. There’s a charming smile on his face. Why can’t he be a shitty person? It would make this so much easier. Doesn’t help that I’m attracted to him either. I’m not blind.
“I don’t know…” I say uncertainly.
“Come on, it’s only half an hour. You look like you could use some company.”
Right on cue, my stomach decides to growl. Fucking traitor. I know he hears it, the quirked eyebrow and knowing grin leaves me with no choice but to accept his offer.
“Fine. But if you pester me about choosing a subject anymore, you’ll be eating alone. Deal?” I demand.
Kade nods. “Deal.”
Ten
Eli
Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon
Stealing Phoenix’s headphones, I slip them in and bring my hood back up. He’s got shit taste in music, so I search for some Bring Me The Horizon that I know he downloaded just for me and immerse myself in the heavy beat. Music is good. It drowns out the rest of my senses. The louder and angrier, the better. Nothing else gets through when my brain is occupied with sound.
I’m huddled in the corner of the football pitch, watching Phoenix and Kade kick a ball about listlessly. They both seem distracted, occupied by their own thoughts. I don’t play, preferring to bury my nose in a book. Running is my thing, but alone. Not with company. It’s my time to experience the world peacefully while everyone else sleeps. No voices or flavours to overwhelm me at the break of dawn.
There’s movement on the neighbouring pitch. The mandatory gym session is in full swing, despite the freezing weather. Most of them are hopping about for warmth, huddled together and moaning. I scan through the bodies, searching for the familiar glossy blonde hair. She’s supposed to be in this class.
My rising heart rate slows when I finally locate Brooklyn standing near the back, entirely alone. She doesn’t even seem to care. Arms folded and hip popped to the side, she looks beyond bored. Dammit, how does she do it? Most newbies would be crying or sulking, being singled out that way. She’s stood there like she owns the whole damn world.
What a sight that is.
I refocus on my essay, trying to keep my eyes from straying. Having her so close is a distraction. Already I’ve become unhealthily attached, my mind latching on to her commanding presence. No one’s ever looked at me the way she did in that lunchroom. With such fucking purity and respect, rather than treating me like some kind of lab experiment gone wrong. Realistically, there’s a reason why I’m becoming obsessed.