Page 36 of Twisted Heathens
They’ve given me an assortment of bits, none of it new. Of course not, how would they even get out to go shopping? This stuff clearly belongs to them and they’ve given it… to me?
The band t-shirts are definitely Eli’s. He’s the smallest, and I don’t see any of the others sporting Iron Maiden merchandise. My fingers run over the soft hoodie buried underneath, it’s a lighter shade of grey than his usual one. My heart somersaults, feeling the ramifications of this gesture. I raise it to my nose and take a sniff, relishing the familiar citrusy scent that I’ve come to associate with him.
Goddammit. When did I start caring so much?
Phoenix’s offerings consist of a cute beanie hat and an indigo blue blanket for the bed. I spread it out immediately, smiling at the cosy set up. There’s also a couple of beers which makes me laugh. Where did he even get these? I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m grateful though, I haven’t had a drink in far too long.
Lastly, Kade. Some fresh toiletries to replace my confiscated ones, along with a basic backpack filled with stationary and new notebooks. I pause over them, that damned feeling in my chest ballooning. Jeez, what are these guys doing to me? They’re creeping in no matter how hard I try to block the feelings out. Nobody’s ever done this for me before. Not since my parents died and left me alone in the world.
My eyes flick over to the bedside table. The polaroids are buried in the drawer, hidden from sight. The temptation to look returns. My fingers near the handle but I hold back, fearing the consequences. Last time I looked at their faces, I ended up needing three stitches.
In that case, maybe I should look. Stop fucking around with counting pills and do things the old-fashioned way. But I know better than anyone that you have to do it properly to succeed. It’s easy to pass out and only do half a job. Then I’ll never get another chance.
Stick to the plan. Only a few more days until we’re ready to go.
I change into one of the new t-shirts, this one with Red Hot Chili Peppers scrawled across the front. Allowing myself a small smile, I slip on my pink Docs and grab my leather jacket, adding Phoenix’s beanie on a whim.
I prefer to skip dinner usually, my stomach is too unsettled to deal with food. Turns out going cold turkey on meds ain’t fun. But Kade has apparently taken it upon himself to fix that, hence I’m being escorted to the cafeteria tonight.
Heading downstairs, I check for guards before lighting up a cigarette on the front lawn, leaning against some stupid decorative statue. Curious looks are tossed my way as patients pass on their way out, but I ignore them all and keep smoking. Motherfuckers. Seems my run-in during gym class has earned me a reputation already.
“Hey Brooklyn!”
Phoenix jogs over, signature megawatt smile in place. He comes way too close and plucks the cigarette from between my fingers, backtracking as he takes a drag. “You’re actually joining us for once, what a treat. Nice hat by the way.” He laughs.
“Don’t get used to it. And thanks, some weirdo gave it to me.”
“Huh, he clearly has good taste.”
He gives me a flirty wink as the others join us. Eli shuffles up to my side, giving me a nod. His eyes trail over the shirt peeking out from beneath my jacket and he manages a smile that makes my toes curl.
Christ, I’m playing with fire here.
“You morons coming?” Kade calls.
My jaw nearly drops when I take in his casual outfit. The usual shirt and slacks nowhere to be found, replaced by grey sweatpants and a tight black shirt that reveals more toned lines of muscle than my brain can handle. Holy smokes.
I’m literally screwed.
Phoenix links his arm through mine and drags me along, joining the hordes of people heading across the quad. I can feel Kade’s eyes on me but I don’t react, deliberately keeping my distance. Things are still odd between us after the other night. He’s more overbearing than ever, constantly studying me.
All I can think about is him laying across the bed from me, thick lashes framing hazel eyes. The feel of his leg on mine, face close enough to hear his breath as he confesses to his sins. I can’t move past that night. It’s done something to me. Don’t get invested, I remind myself. I can’t afford to care about these guys.
Once in the cafeteria, we join the queue and load up our trays. I select a small salad that doesn’t look too intimidating for my stomach and Phoenix steals my plate, muttering as he dumps a giant serving of lasagna on it as well.
“Fucking eat it,” he orders, all humour and jokes aside as he pushes me to the dinner lady. I kind of like this bossy version of him, all growly and harsh.
We crowd around the usual table, conversation flowing easily. There’s something comforting about it, the ease with which they’ve inserted me into the group. No matter how badly I’ve behaved or my shitty attitude.
“Heads up, Kade. Hudson and Britt just walked in.”
Phoenix’s low whisper elicits a groan from his friend. “That’s just great.”
“Hey, at least they’ve got clothes on this time.”
“Makes a change,” Kade grumbles.
I keep my head down, pushing the food around my plate. Fucking Hudson. That name is cursed, I swear. I’m not particularly looking forward to meeting someone who will only remind me of the past. Even if he’s a decent person, which from what I’ve heard he isn’t, I won’t be able to get past that damn name.