Page 85 of Twisted Heathens
“Dammit Brooke, it’s good to see your face.”
“You too. Never thought I’d have to suffer through more of your Hakuna Matata therapy shit, but here we are.” I shrug, noting the strangely nervous look on her face.
“I transferred from Manchester to here shortly after leaving Clearview,” she explains, keeping her voice light. I have this instinctive feeling that she’s lying. “What are you doing here? Were you transferred?”
“Zimmerman gave up on me.” I pick the loose threads on my jeans. “He sent me here for the three year program.”
“They gonna let you out when you finish?”
I have zero intentions of finishing this pointless shit.
“Apparently, although it depends on my behaviour and stuff. Don’t know how they intend to cure the crazy in my damn head.”
Sadie lays her hand on top of mine, giving it a squeeze. “You may not see it now, but last time I saw you, there was drool coming out your mouth and you couldn’t string together a sentence because they had you so drugged up.”
I roll my eyes. “Thanks for reminding me.”
“My point is, recovery is possible. Look at yourself and how far you’ve come. I’m so proud of you.”
My gut twists in anger, no matter how irrational. Rule number one, never tell a crazy person they look better. We don’t want to hear that shit. Nine times out of ten, you’ll push them to self-destruct even more just to prove you wrong. Trust me.
Swiftly changing the topic, Sadie grows serious once more, casting an anxious glance around the deserted room. I swear she checks the CCTV cameras, confusing me further. “Brooklyn, just promise me one thing.”
I nod slowly. “What is it?”
“Just be careful. Blackwood has a good reputation, but that doesn’t mean bad things don’t happen here. Watch your back, okay?”
Fear slithers down my spine at her ominous words. She looks at me imploringly, all signs of her usual optimism brushed aside. “What do you mean?” I ask with a frown. “What’s wrong with Blackwood?”
Sadie jumps to her feet, plastering her usual bright smile back into place. “I’ve got another group to facilitate, must go. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” She holds my gaze for a moment, an unspoken message in her eyes. “Anything at all.”
I force a smile when all I want is to scream in her face, demand to know what the hell she’s on about. But it’s clear she doesn’t intend to elaborate on her vague words, rushing to escape our conversation.
“It’s good to see you,” I force out. “See you around.”
Just as I open the door to leave, Sadie calls after me. “Brooke! You aren’t a monster. No matter what the world thinks or the newspapers print. You’re a good kid that just made some bad choices. Remember that.”
She returns to quickly packing her stuff away, glancing at me one last time. My heart seizes, all my suspicions melting away at her words. More than anything, I regret writing my biggest fear down. Now it’s out there and I can’t take it back. Truth is, it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks.
I already hate myself enough for what I did.
Twenty-Nine
Hudson
If You Want Love by NF
Slamming my door shut, I toss the handfuls of papers onto the bed. Fisting my hair, I fight the urge to scream aloud. Piping hot rage fills my every thought. Blinding, blurring, leaving no space for rationality or calm.
My fist meets the plaster wall, skin splitting and blood smearing across the paint. I yell my frustration and keep punching, regardless of the pain in my busted knuckles. Mariam says I have to work through my anger if I’m going to have any chance of leaving this place.
You know what? Screw Mariam. I’m never escaping this godforsaken cage because it’s where I fucking belong.
Brooklyn hasn’t spoken to me all week after our bust up on Monday. She passes me in corridors like I don’t even exist, like that kiss outside of the library never fucking happened. I know she felt it, the instant electricity behind us. That spark paved our way for ruin five years ago, and we were always destined to burn together.
Meanwhile, our group is splintering apart. We sit in silence at meal time, the air thick with resentment. I get it, the guys blame me for screwing things up. That empty chair at the table is painfully obvious. Kade silently plots while Phoenix acts like a complete bellend. Don’t even get me started on Eli, he’s worse than ever and hellbent on destruction.
I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.