Page 48 of Trusting You

Locke cocks a brow. “No problem.”

I lick my lips to stifle some awkwardness. “Stop making me feel like a fool. It’s what your sister did to say good-bye.”

“No, my sister gave me a hug.” Locke waits, and when I don’t respond—or walk away—he adds, “If you want to, you can do that, too.”

“Hug you?”

“I promise. No biting. Though I may smell like dead fish.”

“So do I.” I laugh instead of move because in the span of one second, I’m afraid to hug this man.

I hug people. I put my arms around my mom and dad, would stick a leg out and trip my brother, then hug him, too. I pulled Paige close all the time, especially during the worst moments, and when Lily came into my life, I had her in my arms more than I set her down.

So, why did hugging Locke for the first time funnel all that emotion, from each love of my life, into one person?

Locke reads each flicker of conflict on my face. “You don’t have to,” he says and starts to turn Lily’s stroller. “We’ll see you—”

I dive at him. Put an arm around his neck and the other around his waist and hold him close and tight.

Startled, his hands take a moment to wrap around me, but when they do, it’s as if I’m whole.

He smells delicious, despite his warning otherwise. Soap and laundry detergent. Comfort and beauty. Sturdy and hard, like if I needed to ask him to, he’d never let go.

For the first time since losing Paige, I don’t feel so alone.

I bury my face in his neck for a few crucial seconds, then just as abruptly, let him go.

“I’ll see you at home,” I croak out.

“Yeah. Home.” Locke’s stunned.

I nod in the affirmative, then scurry away as fast as my little legs will allow.

Lily’s happy babbles fade with distance, and with each step farther away, with every inch closer to the exit…

My heart crumbles a little more.