Page 24 of My Tiny Giant
“Yes, mother ,” Agan’s voice mocked me from behind the trees.
Oh, screw him! A snake would choke on him, anyway. That man would be impossible to swallow for anyone.
I took my mini canteen from the pocket on my hip, unrolled it and filled it with water from the creek. I paused just for a moment before drinking it. I had no purifying tablets left on me, but Agan had drunk the water from this very creek farther back last night, and he seemed fine, no diarrhea. He hadn’t pooped down my cleavage or anything.
I cringed at the thought.
Then laughed.
Then shook my head.
This had turned into the craziest mission I’d ever been on by far.
“Thirsty?” I offered my canteen to Agan when he returned, thankfully, safe and sound.
“Thanks, I’m good.” He walked over to the water’s edge. Leaping onto a small rock in the creek, he crouched down and dipped his hands into the water. Cupping them, he brought some up to his mouth to drink.
I watched him closely, afraid to breathe. Those fish he’d dismissed earlier wouldn’t just bite him now, they’d eat him whole.
The unsettled feeling inside me grew stronger the longer he stayed on that rock. Finally, the anxiety turned unbearable.
“Agan, come here, please,” I begged. “I have lots of water.”
“It’s from the same creek, isn’t it? There’s no difference.”
“Yes, but...” I understood he might be guarding his independence more eagerly now that he had shrunk in size, but I couldn’t help it. The fear for him wouldn’t let me rest. “Oh, come on, just get away from there,” I pleaded. “I can’t take it anymore. What if a fish got you?” I realized I sounded like an overprotective parent, but the worry got the best of me.
“You don’t believe I’m capable of taking care of myself?” He straightened on the rock, propping his hands on his hips.
“Of course you are, but... Everything is so much bigger compared to you, now.” I believed I caught the glimmer of fish scales in the water near him. Then, a squawk of a bird from above somewhere spiked my worry into panic. “That’s it, come back here, I said. Right now!”
I lunged for him, but he leaped off the rock onto the ground, gracefully evading my hands.
“No need to get handsy again, Eleven,” he said, stomping past me. “And you have no right to order me, either. We hold the same rank.” He threw my own words back at me.
This made me think.
I could easily place myself in Agan’s shoes right now. As a petite woman, I had plenty of experiences being dominated by much larger males, often without them even realizing what they were doing. Both in my private and professional life, I had been manhandled, ordered around, and experienced men’s overprotectiveness that bordered on patronizing.
Now, I’d been acting just like them toward Agan.
“Sorry.” I sat on the sandy bank next to him. “I’ve been crossing lines left, right, and center, haven’t I?”
“It’s fine.” He unbuckled his belt, detaching the dagger sheaths from it. “Some of it reminds me of the way I treated you when I was bigger. I understand your concern and frustration.”
“At least you didn’t shove me down your shirt,” I smiled.
“If I were wearing one, I would have.” He chuckled. “Anything to keep you safe.” He then added in a more serious tone, “There’s just something about a woman in the war zone, in the jungle, that makes my hackles rise.” He rubbed the back of his neck, rolling his shoulders. “It feels wrong. It makes me want to take her as far away from this place as possible, where no fescods or yirzi would ever find her.”
I understood much better now his need to protect someone smaller and perceivably weaker than himself.
He wound his belt around his hand, staring straight ahead for a few seconds. “I guess I have something to apologize to you for, too, don’t I?”
“Does it mean you’re saying sorry?” I smiled again.
“I am.”
“Say it, then.”