Page 73 of Sentinel's Kiss
“If I put you down, you’re going to run, aren’t you?”
Logan giggled and nodded.
“I’m going to catch you.” Josh lowered him to the ground and Logan took off in a crazy baby gait, screaming and laughing as Josh stalked him. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. This was going to be tough, but she could do it. It was time.
They wound up in the living room with Goldfish crackers and apple juice, which was the placating bribe they had to lay out when Josh refused to watch Barney. They compromised on Disney Junior after using Josh as a jungle gym. Ashley wished her brother could see him now. The air of menace that always surrounded him was gone and he looked younger and happier. If her father saw Josh now, he wouldn’t think twice about her dating him. Then her eyes narrowed at the bulge on his ankle.
“Do you have a trigger guard on that?” she asked.
He stiffened and looked over his shoulder. He was playing Candy Land with Maya. “Of course,” he said.
“Why did you bring it?”
“In case I need to use it.”
“Here?” She looked around her parents’ house with her arms wide.
“Lots of pretty things, in a really nice neighborhood.” Josh picked a card and landed on a licorice space. He made a face at Maya, who took great pleasure in telling him he had to miss a turn.
“I don’t like having that around the kids,” she said nervously.
“I wouldn’t like having to use it around the kids. But you can bet your sweet…cakes that I will use it to protect everyone in this house.”
“It doesn’t always have to come down to you to be the protector,” Ashley said, placing her hand on his shoulder.
“Doesn’t it?”
“Doors lock. Alarms can be set. Help is just a phone call away. We’re not in Afghanistan anymore.”
Josh reached up and brought her down for a kiss.
“Ew.” Maya said. “It’s your turn. Stop kissing Auntie.”
“She kissed me,” Josh said, a hand over his heart.
“Telling lies is bad.” Maya narrowed her eyes at him.
Ashley hooted. “She told you.”
“You’re right, Maya. I’m sorry I lied.”
Maya nodded, mollified, and pulled a card with two blue squares on it. She jumped ahead into an impressive lead.
“You’re not so good at this game,” Ashley said.
“I’m better at others,” Josh said with a smoldering look.
“Yes, you are.”
And then Logan was off again chasing a sunbeam and she followed him around the house, terrified that he would fall.
During a rare quiet moment, Logan scurried into her lap and cuddled against her with a thumb in his mouth. She stiffened, but when the world didn’t end in sorrow and tears, she tentatively stroked his baby-soft hair. A few minutes later, Ashley wrinkled her nose. He had a full diaper.
“You made a stinky,” Ashley said.
“I got it,” Josh said, scooping Logan up.
“And you say I’m the perfect woman? You’ve got to be the perfect man.”
Josh lost his smile. “Far from it.”
She wondered what he meant by that, but when Maya took Logan’s place on the couch, she soon had her hands full with a baby doll. Her heart seized in her chest. Just great. Now she was reacting to fake babies.
“What’s your baby’s name?” Ashley forced out. It was getting better. She didn’t panic. She didn’t run away screaming. Now all she had to do was not cry in front of Maya.
“Betty,” Maya said, pushing a plastic bottle into the doll’s mouth.
Ashley’s hands started to shake and the deep breathing wasn’t helping. She forced herself to concentrate on Maya, who was the cutest mixture of her brother and Layla. She had Layla’s delicate features, but her expressions were all Jeremy. She remembered playing in this very room with Jeremy. Only they were crashing Matchbox cars into each other instead of playing with baby dolls. Slowly her body unclenched and her heart rate went back to normal. It was going to be okay.