Page 32 of Not So Casual
“I agree. Can you play me another song?”
It would be so easy to imagine a life like this. One where he plays music for me nightly while I sit and listen. A life where he would teach me how to play alongside him, making music together. We could make dinner together, watch a movie, then practice the piano. Our life could be spent laughing and ragging on each other like we did tonight. A little thing called hope flutters inside me, and this time I don’t shut it down.
Alexander
It’s been one month since Elias first slept over, and he’s been there almost every night since. At first, it started out as just the weekends, evolving into us spending more and more time together. But slowly he started routinely staying over on the weekdays, with us eating dinner together and falling asleep in each other’s arms. And now there’s two drawers in my room filled with all his clothes.
I’m so fucked.
I signal to the bartender for another drink and take a sip when he sets the glass down in front of me. Tonight is the first night in a long time that I’m not wrapped around Elias, and to be honest, I miss him. I miss laughing with him, or just lying on the couch doing absolutely nothing.
“Hey man.” A hand slaps down on my shoulder, and I grin, taking in Marcus standing before me.
“Hey.” Raising my hand, I signal for the bartender again before turning and facing Marcus. “How have you been?” He scrubs his hand down his face, sighing loudly. “That bad, huh?”
“I mean yes, and no.” His voice trails off as he sits on the stool next to me, staring at the line of bottles on the shelf in front of us. The bartender sets down a glass of whiskey in front of him, and he plays with it distractedly. “Parker called me.”
“Wait what? When? Did you answer?”
Parker is Marcus’ ex-boyfriend, who he’s still in love with. Things between them ended on a less-than-amicable note, but Marcus is always hesitant to bring him up.
“No. I missed it. My phone was on the counter, so I didn’t hear it. I didn’t see it until an hour had passed.”
“Did he leave a voicemail? What did he say?”
“He did, but I’m not sure. I haven’t listened to it yet.” he says, twirling his glass around in his hands.
“Are you going to?”
“What’s the point?” He tosses back the whiskey, wincing as he swallows. The bartender walks by, quickly refilling his glass.
“The point? To get closure?”
“He’s my ex-boyfriend. I don’t need closure.” I’m not too sure why they broke up, I just know it’s not something Marcus wanted.
“The one you’re still in love with,” I reply cautiously, not wanting to upset him more than he already is.
Scoffing, he tosses back another gulp of his whiskey, looking everywhere else but at me.
“Marcus, you can talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say. I wanted to work things out, but he didn’t.” Shrugging, he keeps talking. “He left me, Alexander. He. Left. Me.” He enunciates each word, his eyes getting wider by the end, the sadness filling them.
“I know he did,” I say softly. “But that doesn’t mean…”
He quickly cuts me off before I can finish, his hand cutting through the air. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll listen to it later, maybe I won’t. What’s new with you?”
Marcus tries to change the subject and I let him. He quickly gets emotional whenever it comes to Parker, even though he won’t admit it. Being his best friend, I try to be there as much as I can, but Marcus is quick to shut down any discussions about this. As much as I want to talk to Marcus about Parker, I need to wait until he comes to me. I thought him bringing up Parker’s call meant he was ready to talk about it, but I guess not.
“Things are good. I have been working more than ever, but for some reason it hasn’t been too bad. You know how it is. There’s always something to do, but it’s not as bad now.”
“Yeah, man, I know. So fucking glad it’s the weekend.” He chuckles and goes to say something else when a familiar man steps in front of him, blocking my view.
“Hey, Alex,” Mason purrs.
“Uh, hey Mason.” I smile, taking in the man before me. Mason is a past hookup who wanted more than I was willing to give him.
“How have you been?” he asks, a bright smile taking over his face.