Page 85 of Silver & Gold
Seth had told Raider about his mother’s death, when she and Seth had been chased into an alley by several men. How they had killed her in front of Seth. How Marcus had intervened and killed those men. But he hadn’t told Raider about all the years after.
Seth drew a deep breath. “Without Marcus, I don’t know what would’ve become of me. If he’d just brought me to Arcanum, dropped me there, and washed his hands of me? I wouldn’t have lasted there. Even with Marcus’s intervention, some didn’t want me to.”
Raider frowned. “Why? What happened?”
Memories rushed through Seth’s mind, but he didn’t linger on any specific one. But he did try to tell Raider the truth. “I was … really angry. Sometimes out of control. I got in a lot of fights. Marcus helped me learn to calm down.”
After a moment, Raider said quietly, “Your breathing exercises.”
Seth winced. “You noticed that?”
“Only because I watch you so closely.”
“Hm. Well, those, yes, but I’m also talking about other things. Putting things in context. Thinking instead of reacting. I’m not saying I’m great at it, but I’m better than I would’ve been without him. I was lucky to have him. I am lucky. He’s like my father.”
“You … didn’t have one?”
“Not really. My mother was the concubine of a powerful man. He was technically my father but not in any way that mattered. It was his men who killed my mother. Because she had angered him.”
Raider’s expression darkened abruptly. His fingers clenched on Seth’s knee. “Fuck, Seth. That’s awful. I fucking hate that that happened to you. Fuck.”
“It’s okay.”
“Bullshit! It’s not fucking okay!”
“I mean … I’m okay.”
Raider shook his head. “I don’t see how you can be. That’s terrible.”
“I’m mostly okay,” Seth amended then added lightly, “I still have a temper.”
Raider scowled. “Don’t make this funny.”
“Why not? You always do. And I do have a temper—which you very much enjoy sparking.” Seth kept his tone light, hoping Raider would relent and relax. They had enough to deal with without waking up Seth’s ghosts.
Raider was silent for a moment, clearly struggling with the tone Seth wanted to set. But he gave in and said, “Well, you are gorgeous when you’re angry.”
“You’re the only one who thinks that, but I’ll take it.”
“I’m the only one who says it maybe. You do realize you how attractive you are, right?”
“To you perhaps, but that’s all I need.”
“You can’t be that blind.”
Seth shrugged. “Most people avoid me.”
Raider shook his head, looking exasperated. “Baby, that’s because you’re intimidating.”
Shit, Seth loved when Raider called him that. He tried not to let on exactly how much that made him melt as he replied, “I’m not intimidating to you, apparently.”
“No, because I like all that green fire in your eyes. But I like this too. Talking to you like this. It feels good.”
Seth leaned forward to press a kiss to Raider’s forehead. “It feels good to me too.”
***
While Raider spoke with Tarjan, Seth went exploring. He didn’t like how quickly Tarjan had appeared after he and Raider had left their room, and he didn’t like the sight of Raider walking away with that male, but he didn’t have a right to say no.