Page 123 of Cruel Steps

Emerson: Definitely him.

Smiling, I put my phone back in my bag as Holden maneuvered the truck down the driveway. The sun was starting to set, casting a soft glow around us. Holden turned off the engine, and we both sat there for a minute, listening to the quiet around us.

There were so many things I wanted him to say, but was also scared to death of him admitting it. Eventually, I climbed out of the cab and went inside. When I glanced out the window, I was surprised to find Holden still sitting in his truck, with his head resting on the wheel. Part of me wanted to fight with him, to push him until he said something. But it felt important not to.

If he couldn’t admit how he felt and accept it, he would never be able to tell me, either. It was important that he took that step and fought for something. Otherwise, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to trust he wouldn’t turn his back on me when it got hard.

With a resigned sigh, I climbed the steps and took my bag into the bathroom. Things might be complicated with Holden, but not with Colter. He told me what he wanted; I never had to guess how he felt. It was revitalizing.

Holden might feel like home, but Colter was the energy that flowed through it. I’d love to be with both of them, but I wouldn’t force it. Instead, I’d show my sweet and kinky man how I felt about him.

CHAPTER

THIRTY-EIGHT

HOLDEN

I was such a fuckup. I had no excuse why, either. If the past month had taught me anything, it was that I’d fallen in love with Emerson. Even knowing that, I still couldn’t seem to make myself tell her.

Seeing her in that dress, hearing my mom’s words, and dancing with her today was everything.

She was everything.

So, why couldn’t I tell her? Or get out of my own way and make a move? It had been easier when we hated each other. Now… it just seemed like there was so much more on the line.

And because you’re a fuckup.

And around and around the carousel I went.

My phone vibrated, and I jumped, hitting the horn in the process, and then jumping again.

“What?” I grumbled when I answered the call. Colter’s smiling face was not what I wanted to see.

“So, you’re still in your head, I see?” His face scrunched up, and I rolled my eyes.

“The best thing about being away from you for two days was not receiving the Colter inquisition.”

“Lies. You miss it.”

I snorted. Fucking Colter. The dude was just too sincere to hate him. I sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face. “Is there a reason you called?”

“I just talked with Mer. I thought you were going to fix things finally?”

That had been the plan. Yet, hearing about her dad had derailed me. Or at least that was the excuse I told myself. Waking up with her humping my leg and squeezing my dick had been something else this morning. I’d barely gotten any sleep lying next to her. I’d finally gotten to smell her, feel her next to me, and touch her again. I’d been a man starved, desperate for scraps.

“Yeah, well. I’m a coward.”

“No, you’re not. Talk to me, man. What’s holding you back?”

I stayed quiet for a minute as my thoughts swirled. So many things popped up, but they were all thinly disguised excuses. The truth was… I didn’t believe I deserved her.

“She’s better off without me, Colt. You two are great together. I’ll just fuck it up. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. The only thing I’m good at is football. I need to focus on that. Anything else is asking for too much.”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” I scoffed.

“Most of what you just said is shit. Lies you’re grasping to protect yourself. There was only one true thing.”