Page 59 of Redemption

Jackson’s muscles tightened, his abs clenching as he increased his pace until he was hissing through his teeth, ropes of come spilling on his skin. I loved seeing him lose control, and my own orgasm barreled through me. Making my vision darken and my legs shake.

“Oh god,” I whispered. I hunched forward, still feeling the aftershocks. Wondering what the hell I’d just done.

So much for staying away. For being professional. For being…friends.

I let out a shaky exhale, and when I lifted my gaze to him, we both stared at each other as if to ask, “What just happened?”

Shit. This was bad. Really bad.

But it had felt so, so good.

I closed his door and crept back to my room before I could make an even bigger mess of things. I had no idea where Jackson and I went from here, but I had a feeling there was no going back from this.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Ijolted upright, nearly hitting my head on the ceiling of my berth. “Fuck,” I said. “Fuck,” I repeated, more softly this time.

The sun was shining through the porthole in my cabin, turning the sky a beautiful pink. It was time to get moving. Today, we’d head to Mayaguana, our last night on the boat before spending the week at the Huxley Grand Turks and Caicos.

After everything that had happened yesterday, putting some space between Sloan and me didn’t seem like a bad thing. I didn’t know how much more temptation I could resist. I mean…first, that kiss. God, that kiss. My memories hadn’t lived up to the shattering reality of it.

But the look of hurt in her eyes that had followed had nearly gutted me. I hated seeing her so upset, especially when I was the cause of it.

I dragged a hand down my face. I was trying to do the right thing here. I always tried to do the right thing by her, even if it didn’t always seem that way. But there was only so much a man could take.

My cock was almost always hard around her. So, in an attempt to relieve some pressure, I’d taken matters into my own hand. I’d tried to be quiet, but then she’d…she’d opened the door. She’d watched. Touched herself. Made herself come.

Fuck me, that had been hot.

But also… I buried my face in my hands. What the hell was I thinking? What was she thinking?

Sloan was my principal. My boss didn’t care that we had a past. And when he’d told me to use it to my advantage, he sure as hell didn’t mean jacking off in front of the client. Daring her to watch me even though she was already in a relationship with someone else.

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling completely adrift.

She’s with someone else.

The idea of Sloan with anyone else made me sick to my stomach.

Yes, we’d crossed a line. Several lines. But I didn’t share. And even if I’d been willing to overlook the fact that she was in a relationship, I knew it would eat Sloan up inside.

I knew what it was like to sneak around. To lie.

We’d lied to my sister for years. Hell, we were still lying to her. It had been a point of contention for us. It had caused us both a lot of pain, especially Sloan.

And while I respected Sloan for keeping her promise to me—to not let what had happened between us affect her relationship with Greer—I hated myself for it. If I could go back, that was part of a long list of regrets when it came to Sloan.

I wouldn’t ask that of Sloan again. Which was why this had to stop. I had to stop doing this—thinking we could be something more.

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my chest. The problem was, I didn’t know if I could. Sloan had always been my anchor, grounding me when life was difficult.

When I’d been at my lowest after leaving the SEALs, she’d been there for me. She’d been supportive, listening without judgment. With her, I could be vulnerable in a way I’d never been before.

After my dad’s death, it had felt as if the weight of the world rested on my shoulders. The responsibility to take care of my mom and Greer. To become the kind of man he would’ve respected—a hero, like him.

And then I’d gotten kicked out of the SEALs, and everything had come crashing down. But Sloan had been there for me. She’d loved me. Healed me.

But that was in the past. I needed to focus on the present. She was Hudson’s client, for fuck’s sake. And I’d worked too long and too hard to give up that promotion. It was within my grasp. All I had to do was keep my eye on the prize and my cock in my pants.