Page 60 of Redemption

I dressed and headed out to check our position and the weather.

“Morning.” Sloan peeked her head in from the deck. “Breakfast and coffee are in the microwave. Everything else looks good. I’m ready to leave whenever you are.”

I scrutinized her expression, but she was as calm and beautiful as ever.

Okay…Was she just going to pretend last night never happened? Hell, maybe it was for the best if we simply acted like nothing had changed.

I was tempted to ask, but I reminded myself that she was the client. And after last night, I’d resolved to treat her as such. No more flirting. No more…touching. Kissing.

Fuck.

No. Not fuck. Definitely no fucking.

It was my job to keep her safe and, when possible, happy. So I swallowed back my questions, realizing that perhaps ignoring the problem in this situation was best.

I said, “Sounds good,” and got ready to head out.

We motored into the wind, and as the island faded from view, I gave it one last lingering glance. On the island, it had felt as if anything were possible. As if something between Sloan and me could be possible.

If I were honest, I still wanted it to be possible. But I knew that was a fantasy, nothing more. I’d ignored protocol, discarded my principles like my swim trunks, and that couldn’t happen again.

I checked and double-checked the weather, using the satellite phone to email security at the Huxley Grand Turks and Caicos. Everything was ready for our arrival tomorrow, and that should’ve given me some manner of calm, but it didn’t.

When it was my turn to take the wheel, Sloan went below deck. I wondered if she was avoiding me. We’d barely spoken all day, and I had no idea what she was thinking. It felt as if all the progress we’d made the past few days had come undone.

I hated the idea of her pushing me away. Though it wouldn’t be the first time, and I couldn’t say I blamed her.

The door to my apartment opened and then slammed shut. I found Sloan pacing in the living room.

“What happened?” I asked, immediately on edge. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t keep doing this.” She continued pacing. “I can’t keep lying to her. To everyone.”

“I know.” I went over to her, relieved, even as my stomach churned with guilt. “I understand, and I’m?—”

“No.” She raised a hand as if to silence me. “You don’t. When I leave to come to your place, I have to lie. When I’m texting with you, I have to lie. When Greer asks who put that dreamy look on my face?—”

“I get it.” I smoothed my hands up and down her arms. “You have to lie.”

Her shoulders slumped. “I hate lying to her. I’m a terrible friend.”

“And I’m a terrible brother,” I said. “But we can’t control who we fall in love with.”

She gasped, and I realized it was the first time I’d said the word aloud. I’d thought it a thousand times. It was always on the tip of my tongue.

She glanced up, meeting my gaze. “You…you love me?”

“Yeah, hayati.” I cupped her cheek, wishing I’d told her sooner. “I do.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck and squealed. I held her close, my heart pounding as the realization sank in. I loved her. I am so fucked.

It was a good thing she wasn’t fluent in Arabic or she would’ve figured that out months ago.

“I love you too.” She peppered my face with kisses. “God, I love you so much, Jackson.”

I didn’t deserve Sloan or her love. I dropped my head to my chest. How could I ever give her the kind of life she deserved, when I’d been discharged from the Navy and we were hiding our relationship from friends and family?

“Hey.” She angled her head so she was meeting my gaze. “What’s that about?”