Page 53 of Silver Linings

“Because this is the way it was always supposed to be…” she whispered. “If I hadn’t gotten sick?—”

Of course. He didn’t know why he thought she’d stay in his room with him. He knew the doctor cleared her to travel and even told her she’d likely be able to stop her medication in the next few weeks. But he couldn’t help the disappointment that crawled under his skin.

“But you did, Lil. What if something happens again?”

“It’s been almost six weeks, Gunner. I think we are in the clear. It’s time.”

Right. Time to get back to being married, but not. She stood there in the hall staring at him, but what was he going to say? That he didn’t want her to sleep in a different room from him? That even though they hadn’t touched while sharing the same bed, all he wanted now was to lie with her in his arms every night?

“Okay. But if you start feeling sick, I want to know immediately.”

“Of course.”

“Middle of the night or not, Lil. You bust through the door and wake me up. Missions that have gone sideways haven’t had me in as much of a panic as seeing you on the bathroom floor so sick that night.”

“I will. I promise.” She looked down at her feet and then back into the room she’d claimed for herself and their daughter. “I’m going to unpack some before dinner, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll do the same. The guys gave me a list of places that are good to order in from around town. Maybe we can do that tonight so we don’t have to figure out a meal?”

“That sounds amazing.”

Gunner couldn’t stop himself. Before she could walk away, he grabbed her hand and stopped her. “Thank you for doing this, Lily. For coming to Texas with me. For letting me claim Sage as my own. I just…just thank you.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek before turning and walking into his room.

Eighteen

“Good morning.” Lily’s smile met him as he walked into the kitchen. He was feeling extra grumpy after spending the night tossing and turning. It didn’t feel right to be in bed alone.

He’d tried to listen for Sage waking up, but Lily must have been on top of things because he didn’t hear a peep. That killed him. It had been their special time for nearly all of Sage’s life. That middle of the night wakeup. He enjoyed settling her down, getting her diaper changed, and bundling her back up before handing her off to Lily to nurse. Now, he didn’t get to have that, and it pissed him off.

He hadn’t ever even accidentally brushed against Lily in all the time they were sleeping together. She built a pillow wall at first, but that was gone after a few nights. It was driving him fucking crazy that he didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to hold her through the night when he had the chance. Maybe if he had, his wife would still be sleeping in his bed, and he’d get those sweet midnight moments with Sprout.

“Morning, Lil.” Sage was sitting next to the window, happily rocking back and forth in her swing chair. “Hey there, beautiful. Are you all ready for your first day at home with just mom?”

Lily groaned behind him.

“What?”

“Can we not talk about that part of the day? Let’s just focus on you getting to go back to work. Are you ready for that?”

“Why wouldn’t we talk about what you and Sprout are going to be up to today?”

“Because I’m nervous, Gunner! I’m scared that I won’t be able to calm her down when she cries. You know she loves to be in your arms when she gets really worked up. And she’s only ever had the both of us around.”

“She’s not going to get worked up today, are you, Sprout? You’re going to be good for your mama, isn’t that right?”

Sage looked up at him with a mischievous gleam in her eye, and it almost made Gunner laugh.

“Maybe she will be sassy. But I’m just going to be in the office all day. You have your access card, right?”

She nodded, still worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Stop that. You’re going to make it bleed.” He ran his thumb across her mouth until she released the strawberry red flesh. Her cheeks flushed as he dropped his hand away. “If you can’t get her settled, which I seriously don’t think will happen, either bring her down to the office, or call me and I’ll come upstairs. It’s that simple. There’s nothing going on today that would stop me from coming home to you and her. Okay?”

“Okay.”

The warm scent of cinnamon washed over him.

“Are you making something in the oven?”